Christmas!

We just got back from our Christmas vacation visiting my parents in Texas. I had a great time and got to see all my siblings, including my pharmacist sister living in Kentucky, as well as my only set of living grandparents. I had a good time shopping with the sisters, eating lots of good food, visiting with my grandparents and listening to my grandfather talk about his time in the army, singing Christmas songs along with the guitar around the Christmas tree, listening to the Christmas story from the book of Luke, and playing Mexican Train. My brother had to work on Christmas eve, but was still able to come over on Christmas day and hang out. He also brought a yummy pie that he made, and some "real" Dr Pepper that he got filled in bottles in Dublin, TX. I got to spend a ton of time with my cute nephew Jaxon as well, who is now 10 months old and is crawling everywhere, pulling up on things, doing lots of talking that we can't understand, and getting into everything. One of Lindsay's friends had taught him how to "rope," so whenever someone asked Jaxon if he was going to rope or said what a roper he was, he would close up his hand a pretend he was swinging a rope. It was really cute. He also loved to clap for himself and tried to get everyone's attention so they would clap for him. Here is a picture of the whole family.



And a picture of us...




I also got to do some shopping after Christmas, and I got a new bookshelf for the baby room. I wasn't happy with the one I had because the paint was coming off of it, and we were going to have to anchor it to the wall because it would tip too easily in a baby's room. So...if anyone wants it we'll give it to you for free. I will probably put it out on the curb with a "FREE" sign pretty soon if no one I know wants it, and so far that strategy has worked for everything I have put out there. The new bookshelf is one of the "cubical" ones that has canvas cubes that can go in it. I put it together in 30 minutes tonight so I'm pretty proud of myself! As far as anchoring goes...does anyone have one of these and have an opinion on whether or not it should be anchored to the wall? It's a lot deeper and shorter than the other one I had, so I'm not quite as worried about it tipping, but I figure there are probably people who have first hand knowledge on this subject. Here is a picture of the finished product. The cubes are still empty but I'm sure they will get filled soon enough!



On the adoption front, with CFS (our first agency) we are just waiting for them to have a birthmother choose us. With Bethany we have everything turned in including a $500 application fee, and we're waiting on them to contact us for a face to face meeting at our home. This is to get to know us and update our home study so we don't have to completely re-do it. Hopefully we can get this done soon so we can be presented to birthmothers at this agency as well. Please pray a birthmother comes to one of these agencies soon looking to make an adoption plan, and our profile is exactly who she is looking for.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who are reading this! Here are the things I'm thankful for (in no particular order...just whatever order I think of them in!):

1-a God who loves me and takes care of me.
2-a wonderful husband who loves me.
3-a loving and supporting family.
4-a beautiful house with plenty of room for us to live in.
5-wonderful jobs for both of us that we love and more than meet our financial needs.
6-good friends to spend time with.
7-a caring church home.
8-cars that are able to get us where we need to go.
9-healthy and yummy food for every meal.
10-the hope of a child someday.

Another Month of Waiting

Well it's been over a month since I've posted so I figured I should, even though nothing worth mentioning has happened. We are now working with 2 agencies, CFS in Kansas City and Bethany Christian Services in LR. We are completely done with everything for CFS, and are just waiting for a birthmother to come along and pick us. For Bethany we have gotten most of the paper work turned in (we were able to use most of what we already had), but there were a few things they required that CFS didn't, and apparently since our background checks expire in February, we have to get those updated. We are definitely going to be the most well-researched and squeaky clean parents ever...we had to get credit checks done as well for Bethany. I do think it's a little unfair that criminals or people with terrible credit can have as many babies as they want with no one checking on them...but we have to have every single aspect of our lives scrutinized. Unfortunately there isn't much we can do about that if we want a child.
Well I'm going to stop right there because I'm about to get negative...life just isn't fair and I have no control over it, and those are hard things to accept. I'm just ready to be a mom.

Testimony

My girls prayer group has been doing testimonies for the past two months or so, and each week two girls present how God has worked in their life to the rest of the group. I’ve been having a difficult time bringing myself to present my testimony to the group. It is supposed to be about how God has worked in my life, but unfortunately, I haven’t really felt God working lately in the biggest issue I have going on in my life. I don’t feel like this process could really get much harder for us. From the length, to issues with our finances, to worries about the high cost, to a tuberculosis scare, to other health issues, to infinite waiting, and finally to having birthparents choose another family. In the past month we have been overlooked by birthparents, I got in a wreck in my car, and our water heater just broke, leaking water all over our kitchen, and leaving us without hot water for 4 days. I definitely had times where I didn’t think I could handle it and I was just going to have a heart attack or something because there was too much for me to try to take care of besides taking care of myself. I just don’t understand why God would allow this process to be so difficult for us when this is our last chance for a baby. If this doesn’t work then we won’t have any children, and sometimes I wonder if that’s just what God wants because He’s allowing everything else to be so difficult. Now don’t get me wrong, we have had blessings. As of right now we haven’t had anything in our lives that would keep us from being able to adopt; and with all the restrictions placed on adoptive parents, I know a lot of people who wouldn’t be able to adopt even if they wanted to. Also, money has really been an issue for us because we are adopting out of necessity as our only way to have a family. However, we have received many donations from people that have helped make the financial aspect of adoption more of a possibility. Unfortunately, all the money in the world isn’t going to help us if no one ever wants to choose us to parent their child. Right now I am honestly not sure what to do. If this is really God’s plan for us then why did he let it be so difficult? How long should we wait before we realize that it must not be God’s plan for us to have children? Why do I feel like God must not want me to be a mother when that is all I have wanted from the time I was little? And maybe it’s my fault…I haven’t been the best Christian I could be. I could be praying more or reading my Bible more, but it’s difficult when I feel forgotten and don’t understand why things keep happening (or not happening) in my life. I didn’t mean for this post to be a downer, but this issue has really been weighing on my heart, and I’m feeling bad about not presenting my testimony, but I really can’t allow myself to do that because if I have one more thing weighing on me right now I think I might explode.
And that is why I am not sure I want to share my testimony.

Pack-n-play

So I went garage sale-ing with Ashley and Amber this morning and I got a pack-n-play! What's funny is that we didn't even find the pack-n-play while we were out, but Amber went to a garage sale close to her house after we all went home, and she saw it there and called me. Apparently it was bought by a grandmother to use with her grandchildren, and she only used it 2 times so it's in great shape! It has a changing table on it, and the bassinet, and it has a cute pattern. And the best part...I only paid $25 for it! We had been looking at one that we liked that was $150, so even if we don't end up loving this one, we only paid a fraction of the price for it. Nate and I set it up when I got home, and we got it together pretty easily but we had a really tough time getting it put back up. We apparently aren't smart enough to pack up a pack-n-play! We finally got it put up...the buttons in the middle of each rail that had to be pushed in were kinda tough to find because cloth was covering them, and if we didn't push it in the exact right spot then it didn't fold. I think I will be able to put it away easier the next time I do it though. So...I was pretty excited about that purchase. I also bought some children's books, a diaper bag, and 2 cute baby girl outfits. I really need to stop buying baby clothes because I'm going to end up with a bunch of clothes that are the wrong gender, but I want to be able to buy clothes for my child like everyone else...I just wish I knew what I was "having." :( Anyway, here are some pictures of the new pack-n-play.

Furniture

Since I don't seem to have anything else going on in my life to focus my time on, I decided to paint the furniture we had for the baby room. We had a bunch of furniture that was all mismatched, and none of it was the color I wanted it to be, so I painted all of it (except for the cradle we got from Nate's parents, I couldn't bring myself to paint an heirloom!) Now all the furniture is an espresso color that I also want for the crib we end up getting. I'm really happy with how the color turned out, unfortunately I'm not as happy with how the texture turned out. They were all composite, so I sanded them all down before I painted them to make the paint stick better. Unfortunately the bookshelves are all still kinda sticky and if I take my nail to them I could just scrape the paint off. Since I hadn't primed them before I painted them, I made sure to prime the dresser before I painted it. Unfortunately the dresser still turned out the same way. I don't know if I didn't sand them enough, or if there was something with the paint (I got a semi-gloss) or if there is some coating I could put on top of them or what. So...I'm really happy with how they look, but I'm not sure how long they will hold up with actual use. Luckily they were all really cheap so if we end up having to scrap them and start over it won't be the end of the world. Here are some pictures of the furniture.





Still no news. We are hopefully going to an orientation meeting with Bethany Christian Services in Little Rock on Wednesday, which is an agency a lot closer to home. They seem to be priced about the same as CFS, and they said it would be ok for us to work with 2 agencies, and I *think* we should be able to use our same home study. We obviously aren't going to go through the trouble of working with another agency if we have to have a new home study done, but I'm certainly open to being presented to as many birth parents as possible. I'm hoping to learn more at the meeting, to decide for sure whether or not we want to go with another agency as well.

They didn't choose us

Well apparently we aren't as great as we thought we were. :( I emailed the social worker to try to find out the birth parents' decision, and she emailed back and said they chose another family. So that was a downer. I hate this feeling because I keep wondering if there is something terrible about us that is going to keep any birth parent from choosing us. And unfortunately even if there is, there isn't anything we can do about it since we can't get pregnant on our own.

So now we are back to waiting again. Please don't ask me how it's going, because that's just a constant reminder of how little control I have over my life. On top of that, infinite waiting with no hope on the horizon really sucks. Trust me, if something happens, you will either hear from me or if you don't see me it will be posted on my blog. Until then, you can tell me you are praying for us, we certainly appreciate your prayers, but anything else is just going to make me feel worse about everything.

Boppy Covers

I made some boppy covers! I kind of created a pattern for them by measuring one that was already made. I had to use velcro on the back instead of a zipper, because zippers are much more difficult to put in, but I think they still look good. They were WAY cheaper than buying them, and I got to pick the fabrics. 2 of them match my green and brown scheme, and the other one is a floral print that I couldn't pass up.

We still haven't heard anything about the birth parents' decision, but I'm going to try to find out something this week if we don't hear anything. We really need to know whether we need to let our social worker know to keep presenting our profile to other birth parents or not. So we shall see. Keep praying that this works out, that we will either be chosen by these birth parents or other birth parents will be shown our profile and quickly choose us! We would love to work with these birth parents though.

Back Home

Well we made it back from St. Louis! We got to meet BOTH the birthparents which is amazing (very rare for a birth father to be involved), and Nate and I felt really comfortable with them and would love the opportunity to parent their baby. One of the workers in the room with us was always quick to remind everyone that this was just a "get to know you" meeting, and they are looking at other adoptive parents as well, so we still don't know for sure whether or not we will be the couple "chosen." Pray that the birth parents thought we were as wonderful as we think we are, and they want us to parent their baby. I have a surprise for you toward the end of this blog, so now you have incentive to read all about our adventures!

Here is a play by play:
Wednesday after work we drove up to St. Louis since we would have needed to leave REALLY early in the morning on Thursday to make it to the meeting, and there is hardly anywhere along the way to stop. That was actually kind of a problem because when we were needing to stop for gas, the only gas station we could find was one that had pumps that were from the 50's. Yeah we didn't stop there. So we got kinda worried but ended up finding a random Wal Mart in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of shady people driving around it. Needless to say we filled up fast! Once we got close to our hotel, we started getting worried about the area of town that our hotel was in. On the road to our hotel we saw a closed mall, an adult novelty store, and a gas station that had a lighted picture of a majorette, that definitely made the gas station look like a strip club. Our hotel was called the "airport" location, so I assumed it was near the airport (should be safer), but maybe they just meant they were not near any airports...not sure.

On Thursday we took our time getting up, since neither of us got much sleep the night before. We got ready and left the hotel at 10:15 to make the 20 min drive to the agency. We found it really easily, but I realized I hadn't brought anything to write on, and I was worried I might need to take notes so we quickly went and found a dollar store so I could get a notebook. We still made it back to the agency with about 5 min before 11. I thought we would be waiting a while or would get some one-on-one time with the social worker first, but right after coming in we went up to the room where the birth parents were waiting. Talk about nerve-wracking. I had a really good time talking with them, and felt like we learned a lot about them. I don't feel like Nate and I talked about ourselves as much as I was expecting to, so I'm hoping that's just because they already knew most of the basics from reading all our profile stuff. We discussed topics such as why we chose adoption (which you know if you have been reading our blog), why the birth parents chose to make an adoption plan for their baby, the degree of openness desired, the amount of contact during the pregnancy, what the birth parents would like their child to know about them, and how they thought adoption would change them, along with many other subjects. Now for the surprise...I'm only going to tell you though if you promise to keep reading to see what we did after our meeting. Promise? Good. Well...the very last thing the birth father wanted to check with us on was whether we cared about the sex of the baby, because they obviously didn't know what it was yet. We said we didn't care because if we had been able to get pregnant we wouldn't get to pick, so this wasn't any different. Then he said there was the slight possibility that she could be having twins! Apparently twins run in both their families, which makes it a lot more likely. So...there is the slight possibility that we could end up with two babies! That would be totally crazy...but adoption doesn't cost anymore for twins than it does for one baby, so we could get the two children we wanted in one swoop. Yes...I know it would be insane trying to take care of TWO babies, but that would be exciting. She won't find out for sure on that though until the end of September. The only thing I was really disappointed with about this meeting was that I was hoping we would get more info about the timeline...like when they will have chosen by and whether or not we would need to come to St. Louis anymore if we were chosen, etc. But I didn't really feel comfortable bringing that up in front of the birth parents since they haven't made their decision yet, and we never did get to talk to the social worker alone since she kept talking with the birth parents after we were done. So oh well. If I don't hear from her soon I will try to email her to find out when the decision should be made by, and once we find out whether or not the birth parents pick us, I will know how to proceed with my questions for her.

So, after the meeting was over, we were hungry and emotionally drained, so we decided to find somewhere good to eat lunch. We found an Applebee's close by and had a good meal there. After that, we decided to go visit the Gateway Arch located in St. Louis. We had never been to St. Louis before, but both our parents had, so we figured since we were in St. Louis we would go try to see he Arch too. That was a neat experience. We tried to take pics of ourselves in front of the arch, but it was so tall you couldn't see most of the arch. We almost didn't think we would get to go in because they had metal detectors you had to pass through, and said no weapons were allowed. Nate has a pocket knife he always carries, and wouldn't be able to part with. I told him we should ask them and see if they would hold it, but it ended up being ok because his was less than 4" and didn't have a spring. While there we even got to take a "tram" ride up to the top of the arch, and look out some windows at the buildings below. That whole part was kinda scary...the "trams" were these round cars that held 5 people each, but the doorway into them was only 4 ft tall so you had to crouch to get in, and they were VERY cramped inside. When buying our tickets they even asked us if we were claustrophobic, and now I know why! Once we got to the top the view was amazing, but of course I have a thing with heights, and since the arch is rounded at the top, I kept having this feeling that the very center of the arch where we were would just come crashing down. I managed to hold myself together though, and made it back down in one piece.

After enjoying the arch, we decided to head home since we both have to go to work tomorrow. I had a really good time on this trip, and I'm excited to hopefully see our adoption move forward. Please pray the birth parents are able to make a decision quickly, and hopefully it will be us!

Meeting Day

We will be meeting the potential birthparents this Thursday, at 11AM in St. Louis! I am really excited, but I'm also just as nervous because I have no idea what to expect, and know that we have no guarantees at all. It is really awkward meeting someone you don't know at all, but you are hoping will choose to give you something very special that they have. Kinda like a job interview...but way worse! Please pray that everything goes well, and that God's will is done no matter what the outcome. And pray that everything is done for the best interests of the baby.

P.S. Someone let Hilarie know when the meeting time is please. She was wanting to know so she could pray at the right time, and we all know that she has a direct line to God, as evidenced by Adalyn's (or Bella's?) miraculous rear-end cure!

This is probably the last you will hear until the meeting is all over, so hopefully we will have some more information when we get back, one way or the other.

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Well I wasn't planning on making this post because I really wanted to wait until we had more definite information one way or the other before saying anything. However, since this blog is titled "Adoption Adventures" I figure that this is one of our adventures no matter how it turns out. So, yes Mom, even though I told you to keep it to yourself, since I decided to post it here you have my permission to spread the word to other family if you want to. Or you can just direct them to this blog.

I am very excited because Nate and I got an email today about a possible birth mother. This was definitely out of the blue because I figured we had months to wait before we would even be considered at all. This isn't a normal situation and there certainly isn't anything definite, which is why I was cautious about sharing it. The birth mother is 2 months pregnant, and she and the birth father have showed some interest in us. An agency in St. Louis contacted our agency and asked if they had anyone who fit the profile the birth parents were looking for. They wanted a younger couple who didn't have any children...which we definitely fit! However, agencies really don't suggest looking seriously at adoptive parent profiles until the 5th-7th month so this is obviously way early, and a lot can happen in 7 months. Also, because they are working on this so early, they are talking with more than one couple, which means even if they do stick with their decision to make an adoption plan for their child, we may not be the couple they pick. I have been very impressed with everything I have heard about these birth parents though, and they seem to be really responsible and want to do what is best for their baby rather than what is best for them. We will be going up some time next week to meet them, so hopefully that will go well, we will all feel comfortable together and we can learn more about each other and about their desires for their coming baby.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up, because I know that the majority of birth parents ultimately decide to parent their child, but the timing of this just seems to perfect. She isn't due until March which means my programs would both be out of the way, and out of the 8 weeks of my "maternity leave," 3 of those wouldn't even involve music instruction in my classroom because of spring break and 2 weeks of testing. That would leave only a few weeks left in May before summer came, and we think Nate would be able to take off or work from home then, so that our baby wouldn't have to be in someone else's care until he or she was 6 months old. I would feel a lot more comfortable about leaving my child with someone else at 6 months rather than 2 months. We are praying we are able to find child care with someone we know, but first we need a baby to get child care for! So this whole thing is either God showing us how he works in every situation, or Satan trying to get my hopes up and then dash them. No matter what happens though, it was a huge comfort to know there was someone who was actually considering us to be the parents of their baby. One of the biggest things I have been struggling with is feelings of inadequacy, that maybe no birth parents will ever want to choose us. So I am definitely thankful for this in that regard.

Please pray that God's will is done, and if we aren't meant to have this baby that my heart won't be too badly broken. And please pray for this baby, that all the decisions that are made are all in thinking about the baby's best interests, rather than my best interests or the birth parents' best interests.

First Days of School

Well I had my first two days of school with kids this past week. Even though some people think going to school for two days is pointless, I really enjoy it. I always forget how much the kids and the schedule wears me out, and I always start losing my voice, so having a weekend so soon after school starts gives me time to recuperate.

I am really enjoying my classes so far, and I love going to school knowing exactly what classes I will be teaching...as opposed to my last job where I had new subjects or grades almost every year. The only problems I have had so far were kindergartners who had to go to the bathroom constantly, and didn't really know how to act in school. I can't expect too much from them the first 2 days though.

School starting is kinda stressing me out as far as baby stuff goes though. September will have been 9 months since we officially decided to start this process, so that's kinda depressing, because if I had been able to get pregnant I would have had a baby by then. Also, school starting causes a whole other set of problems with this adoption stuff. If we knew exactly when our baby was coming and had had 9 months to prepare, then I could have rearranged my programs to fit around my maternity leave. As it is, we don't know how much time we have before our baby comes, and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do if we get the call right in the middle of preparing for a program. And our auditorium is so booked that I couldn't even reschedule them. I know my principal would understand, but it wouldn't be fair to my students. On top of that, since we have no idea when its going to be, we can't make any childcare arrangements. I really don't want to leave my child with strangers, but I do want to make sure we have somewhere to take him or her. So many places require waiting for months on a waiting list though, so I'm not sure what to do.

I know that God has a plan and his timing is perfect, but I just want to know what I need to be doing to prepare. Please pray I figure out what God wants me to do.

Homestudy done!

Well our homestudy is basically done! We had our last interview today, and our case worker said she should have it done by the end of the week and will send it to our agency. The interview was actually done pretty quickly and we didn't have to answer any really uncomfortable questions. I'm very thankful to have this done. We're not completely through with it yet, because once our agency receives it, they have to approve our homestudy before we can be placed in the pool of adoptive parents waiting to be chosen by birthparents. Not sure how long it will take to find out if our agency approves our homestudy or not, so pray that goes quickly.

2nd Interview!

We finally have our second and last interview for our homestudy scheduled for this coming Monday, August 2nd. Please pray this interview goes well and we are able to get our homestudy completed quickly afterward so we can move on to waiting for a birthmother to pick us.

P.S. If you like coffee, don't forget about our coffee fundraiser we have going on. Just click the link on the right side of this page to go to our coffee homepage. Even though only a few flavors are displayed on the homepage, you can follow the links on the left side of that page to see all the other flavors the company offers. Just make sure our names are displayed at the top of the page you're viewing, and we will receive a portion of the sale for our adoption! An easy and *tasty* way to help out our adoption! I would also like to say a big THANKS to those of you who have already bought some coffee from the site! We appreciate your help with our adoption!

Matching Blanket

I made a baby blanket! Obviously I won't use this while my baby is little, but eventually my baby will be a toddler and will need a blanket matching the rest of the decorations in the room. So...since I had extra material and extra time, I decided to make a blanket. It really didn't take me long at all, and I am really proud of it!

Hopefully we are going to be able to get our homestudy completed next week, so pray that we can get that done and move on to the next step.

Baby stuff!

So thanks to my friend Jen(and I guess Taylor too!) we now have a bunch of baby stuff! She has a two-year-old and has had all this stuff sitting in her attic. We now have it to use for our coming baby. I'm really excited because we are barely going to have enough money for the adoption, which means it will be difficult to get all the things we need for our baby once he or she is home. And to top it off, all of it matches our "green" theme! Here are some pics of our "new" stuff!









I'm still not positive about the car seat. It's only 2-ish years old which is good and I LOVE the colors, but the LATCH system on the base was recalled. For both of our cars I think the LATCH system is supposed to be the safest option, so I'm hoping that we can find a new base that will fit the car seat. On top of that we would like to have a base in both cars. So we'll see about that one.
Anyway, a big THANKS to Jen and Taylor, and now all we need is a baby! :)

Matching baskets!

So I've just realized I've had a lot of posts recently, and I'm expecting you to read them ALL, so make sure you backtrack all the way through June to make sure you don't miss a moment of my exciting life! ;)

So the good thing about making your own baby stuff is that you can make it all match. I finally figured out how to make basket-liners that match my curtain, crib skirt, and wall hangings. I had a pattern but for some reason even though the pics on the pattern looked to be rectangle baskets, the pattern was for square baskets, which are pretty difficult to find. So I just invented my own pattern. :) I've only made two liners so far, but I found baskets for 40% off at Michaels so I have a total of 5 baskets to line. Here are pics of my baskets.







Also...we bought some cheap furniture for the baby's room that we found on Harding's classifieds. I originally wanted to get a low dresser that we could double as a changing table, but I couldn't really find anything I liked in a price range I liked. I'm definitely a bargain-hunter when it comes to furniture. I only paid $20 for my dresser and we got Nate's chest of drawers for free. Eventually I'm sure we will get a matching bedroom set, but for now we obviously don't have the money. Anyway...I couldn't find anything I liked, so when I found this chest of drawers for $15 I jumped at it. We ended up paying $25 and we also got too little bookshelves. The only problem with them is the color. I was planning on doing an espresso for the crib (and now I will get the matching changing table), but these are a natural color. I haven't decided if I'm just going to leave them how they are, or if I'm going to try to paint them a dark brown to go with the espresso crib. I may end up painting one of the bookshelves first to see how it looks. Here are pics of my finds.

Adoption Issue

Here is a paragraph I wrote for one of the book reports I had the "privilege" of writing. Some of this may not make complete sense because I wrote it assuming the reader had some knowledge of the contents of the book, but I think you can still get the general idea. I don't think this issue is as big a deal today as it was 10 years ago, but I have definitely seen places where it is still a problem. If we want change, we need to be aware of issues when we see them, and be willing to speak up to let others know something should be done. This also means talking with your children when presented with a situation like this, and letting them know that there is a difference in the way the word "adoption" is used. The next time someone tries to get you to "adopt" something, speak up!


Another observation this book made that will really help me while parenting my child is the responsibility we have to be advocates for our child and the adoption system in general. This book pointed out how recently our society has started trying to sell things by providing the “adopt-a” approach to tug on the heartstrings of consumers. This includes “adopted” cabbage patch kids, and "adopt-a" highway, animal, book, tree, park, etc. Unfortunately the use of the word “adopt” associated with these programs can really cause problems for children, whether they are adopted or not. Children are concrete thinkers and don’t understand that there is a difference between adopting a person, and adopting something else. Children don’t understand why they can’t take home an animal at the zoo that they’ve “adopted” or how other people could also adopt that same animal. A child in foster care might be teased by another child with taunts such as, “We adopted a giraffe. Nobody wants you!” Children also start to wonder if adoption just means giving children to the parents with the most money. Finally, even with adoption programs that animal shelters provide, if children see an animal “adopted” but later returned because of a problem the animal has that can’t be fixed, that makes them start to question the permanence of their own adoptions. Adults are able to think abstractly and see the difference between adopting a child and adopting a tree, but children haven’t reached this level of maturity yet. It is up to me to help people understand the issues an “adopt-a” program could cause, and help come up with alternate solutions. Thankfully this issue doesn’t seem to be as big now as it has been in the past, and for the most part, I see adopting an animal from a humane society to be the closest use of the term.

Another Letter

I found this letter in another book I'm reading. This is a letter an adoptee imagined God writing to her parents to show her gratitude for them.

Dear Retha and Mike,
One of my children needs a home-a mother and father who will love her and provide for her.
I know how much you wanted to have children. I know the tears and anguish you have experienced. But the only way I could make a place for this child in your home was through the open door of your infertility.
I am loaning her to you for a while to take care of. Do the best you know how to do, for she is precious to Me.
Someday, when you are gone, I will be her mother and father. She will learn to trust Me and depend on me as she did on you.
Thank you for being willing to love My daughter and give her a home on earth.
Love,
God

From: Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, by: Sherrie Eldridge

5th Anniversary Trip

On the 25th Nate and I celebrated our 5th year of marriage together! It definitely doesn't feel like it's been 5 years! (It feels like it's been about 20! j/k) Anyway, for our 5th anniversary we ended up going to a Bed and Breakfast in Heber Springs, AR. We came upon this decision for a variety of reasons. I originally wanted to go northeast to Washington DC and NYC. I have never been up there (well except when my family drove through New York on our way to Maine) and I would have loved to see all the sights, as well as a musical on Broadway! But...this adoption stuff kinda messed up my great plan. The problem with adopting is you have no idea when anything is going to happen, so it is very difficult to make plans. First, it was going to be very hard for us to justify spending $1000 or more on a trip to NYC when we still don't have enough money for the adoption, and since we have no idea when we will get a baby, we don't know how many more months we will have to save. Also...Nate only has 5 vacation days left, so if he used them for this vacation and then we ended up getting a baby this year, he wouldn't be able to stay with me at all while we're waiting for interstate compact to go through. I'm already not thrilled about having to stay in a hotel room with a new baby for up to 2 weeks, but to have to do it all alone would be sad. :( All that to say...even though Heber wasn't our first choice, it was the most logical choice looking at our circumstances.

I looked online and found a cute bed and breakfast in Heber Springs called the Oak Tree Lodge. We've never stayed in a B&B before so I was excited to get to see what it's all about. As soon as Nate got off of work on Friday we went and ate at Chilis and then drove up to Heber. Once we arrived we ended up getting our choice of a few different rooms because they had had a cancellation. I really liked this room called the "Safari Room" but it had an animal skull on the wall, and I'm not too fond of animal skulls so I ended up picking the "Sandy Beach" room. Here is a pic of our Sandy Beach room.



The owners of the B&B were awesome. They had cookies set out for us, and a fridge with drinks in it that we could have, and since we were the only ones eating breakfast (another guy staying there was a fisherman so he left really early) we got to pick when we had breakfast. Amazingly enough our room had cable TV and wireless internet, which I wasn't really expecting at a B&B so we ended up watching TV for a little bit that evening, and then we went to get some ice cream before retiring for the night. Our bathroom had a whirlpool tub, so I definitely had to try that out too!

In the morning we got up, went down and ate a yummy country breakfast, and then went outside and walked around a little bit taking pictures. We had only booked our room for 1 night so after that we got packed up and checked out.

We hadn't really decided what we wanted to do the rest of the day. I wanted to go walk around the downtown shops some or go to the sandy beach at the lake, but Nate wasn't really up for swimming so we just looked at some of the shops. I'm glad we did because I found this awesome store that sells really cheap jewelry, purses, and bags. I got some necklaces for $1.25 each, and a purse for $25. After shopping we decided to go back to Searcy so we could go watch Toy Story 3. We might have stayed in Heber but their only movie theater only has one screen and it was showing Karate Kid. So we headed back to Searcy, ate lunch and went to the matinee for Toy Story 3.

All in all it was a fun trip and I enjoyed spending time with Nate. I am so thankful I've spent the last 5 years with him, and I'm looking forward to 50 more!

Here are some pics of the lodge from our trip!

Weekend Adventures

This past weekend I went down to Texas to one of my friend's weddings. On Friday I drove down to Abilene so I could have a free place to stay and could see my 3 month old nephew Jaxon. I can't believe how big he is getting! Here are some pics of me and Jax.





On Saturday I followed my parents to Austin for the wedding. We stopped for lunch at Storm's in Lampasas which is one of my dad's favorite restaurants. I remember stopping there many times growing up as we were going to visit my grandparents. I can't believe how much the area in and around Austin has changed. We got changed in the hotel, and headed to the wedding. It was a beautiful wedding, and it was wonderful getting to see my childhood church, and many of our church friends. The reception was outside, and I'm glad the wedding was at 7PM, because even at 8PM it was still hot outside! I'm so excited for Sara and her new husband and I wish them all the best in their new life together! Here is a pic of me and Sara.



Then the trip back home. It was pretty uneventful for the first half of the trip. I got stuck in some traffic, but it didn't put me too far behind. I missed the exit for the gas station I always stop at in Mt. Pleasant, so I stopped a few miles later. Unfortunately, after I got back on the road, a mile later I heard a noise under my car like something was stuck under there. I looked through my rear view mirror and saw a little piece of something land on the road behind me. Unfortunately, I hadn't noticed anything in front of me on the road, so I pulled over to make sure my car was ok. Then I noticed that one of my tires was missing a piece off the outside of it. It wasn't flat yet, but if I kept on driving it would have either gone flat very quickly or blown. So...I pulled out my donut, and started changing my tire. Thankfully (or unthankfully!) I had just had a flat tire a few months ago, so I knew exactly what to do after watching the guy who helped me then. This time, I was almost finished changing the tire by the time anyone stopped. He picked up my donut to help me put it on, and commented that it felt flat. We checked it, and it only had 10 lbs of pressure out of the 60 it is supposed to have. That wasn't going to get me far. This good Samaritan helped me back my car down the embankment onto the access road. I drove back to the gas station I had just left to air up my spare. Then I drove the few miles back to Mt. Pleasant to get a new tire. Unfortunately it was 5:45 on a Sunday afternoon. The only place that was open was Walmart. I got there at 5:57, only to find out that the automotive closed at 6. I figured I would go ahead and try, and thankfully the guys there were really nice and went ahead and got me a new tire. By the time I got done it was 7PM, and I ended up staying in Mt. Pleasant because i would have been pulling into Searcy around 11 or later...and with everything I had gone through, I knew I would fall asleep trying to drive that far that late at night. So I got a hotel room, had a pretty good night's sleep, and left at 9 today to finally come home. What a crazy day!

Reasons NOT to get pregnant

Due to a request by my loving husband to write a more cheerful post, I decided to post this list I made a few years ago when Nate and I weren't ready to have children yet, but I had friends who were starting to get pregnant and they were complaining about it. (no offense but yeah you totally were!) This list is definitely on the graphic side, so if you get queasy easily or don't want to read anything disgusting I wouldn't recommend reading any further! It is a helpful reminder though, whenever I'm feeling jealous of all the girls at my church who get to experience pregnancy, the things they have to go through that I will never have to deal with or worry about.

*One more thing to say: I didn't make up this list I just wrote it down, so I'm not even sure what everything on this list is, or how accurate it is.

The Reasons NOT to Get Pregnant: (in no particular order)
1-morning sickness all the time
2-implantation of the egg
3-round ligament pain
4-stuff coming out of you all the time
5-water breaking
6-mucus plug
7-nurse pulling on your head while you push
8-placenta birth
9-in labor for numerous hours
10-bleeding for 4 weeks after birth
11-huge pads to wear (and special paper panties)
12-boobs leaking
13-uterus infection from placenta detaching
14-breast infection from nursing
15-explosive diarrhea going everywhere(don't ask me...I just wrote it down!)
16-up at all hours of the night
17-forced to give up caffeine

That's all I have...anyone else have anything to add?

"The Letter"

A letter I found in a book I'm reading. Feel free to read it...or not.

Dear Caseworker,

How perfectly furious it makes us that we do not have control of our own lives. Most couples decide for themselves when the time is right for a baby. Most couples need not ask for references from their parents, friends, neighbors, employers, or clergymen before planning additions to their families. Most couples have health insurance that helps to cover the financial strain of the arrival of a new child. Most couples decide on their own whether or not both of their children's parents should work outside the home. Most couples do not live each day of their lives over a span of several years of family planning with the anxious knowledge that any time, any day, the phone might ring, and, with no warning, no nine month wait, no gradual acquisition of correctly sized clothes and appropriate toys, no previous guarantees that carefully made vacation plans or education or job commitments could be carried out, a caller might say, "Are you ready? There is a one day/three month/one year old/boy/girl waiting to be yours if you say the word."

But we aren't most couples. We are an infertile couple. Frankly we came to adoption as a second choice, our primary motivation a selfish one-we wanted a baby and we couldn't make one. but this wasn't something that we felt we could openly share with you. Nor could we share with you how humiliating it felt to need to prove ourselves to you and to those whom we had to ask to fill out reference forms for us before we could have a child placed in our home. Though in our private conversation with each other we talked about what financial strategies we would need to follow in order to save enough money to "buy" our baby from you, we feared that you would be horrified and insulted if we shared with you our feeling that the fee you need to charge us was a purchase price. We got all kinds of messages from both you and from society in general about the process we were entering, and because those messages were so mixed, we felt it safer to say nothing, even when we felt strongly about something you were saying or doing. Because we acknowledged your expertise and questioned our own, we smiled and nodded and agreed to whatever you asked of us without daring to question anything in your agency's process of adoption.

Surprised at the depth of our own reactions to our thwarted family plans, we found it difficult to trust that anyone could truly understand us and the trauma to an individual or to a relationship that comes of being found to be infertile and considering the alternative of adoption. the only way this can truly be grasped is to be infertile and to want children. How we'd love to insist that all caseworkers be adoptive parents, but we know that this is both impractical and impossible.

Though in most other aspects of our lives we are assertive people, we didn't dare assert ourselves with you, Dear Caseworker. You were too powerful. With you rested our only hope of being parents.

But now that we are parents, Dear Caseworker, we need to speak, because the system we dealt with, an old and beleaguered system entrenched in tradition rather than responsive to changing needs, needs revision. As it is it hurts too much, and, having satisfied our desire for a baby, even realizing that there are other, older children out there who need us, we can't quite bring ourselves to risk again the adoption system's humiliating pain. Fix it, Dear Caseworker. It shouldn't have to be this way.

An Adoptive Couple

From: Adopting After Infertility by Patricia Irwin Johnston.

Canoeing and more baby room stuff...

On Saturday Nate and I went canoeing on the Buffalo River with some friends from college, as well as some other people they knew from church and work. We had to leave at 8:30 in the morning and didn't get back until 7:30 that evening, but we had a great time. We rented canoes from Crockett's, and their canoes were awesome! Well the only real difference was that their canoes had backs to the seats, but still! It made for a much more comfortable ride. I will definitely be renting from them if we go again! It took us about 3.5 hours to make it down the portion of the river we canoed. Nate and I got separated from the group right at the beginning when we went a different way around a bend and then never met back up with them, but we finally found them later after stopping on the bank and waiting for a while. It was a nice day, not too hot, and the river was deep enough that we didn't have to "ford" any parts of it. Some of our group ended up tipping over at various points throughout the trip, but thankfully Nate and I managed not to tip. We did have one close call when we got to some rapids and I lost my paddle and Nate was trying to save it, but we made it! We brought plenty of food, water, and sunscreen, but for some reason even though I applied sunscreen 4 times (yes Mom, the first time was an hour before we got in the water) I have two strips on my legs that still got pretty badly sunburned. I think it could be because i had my legs up on the sides of the canoe alot (I let Nate do a lot of the paddling!) but I figured that applying sunscreen as often as I did should protect me. Oh well. All in all it was a fun trip!

Here is how I rode most of the way down the river!


We stopped and swam for a while.


I've finished my crib skirt and some wall-hangings to decorate our baby's room. I used a pattern for the crib skirt, so all I gotta say is, cribs better all be a standard size! I'm gonna be upset if I spent all that time and it doesn't fit! Here are some pictures of my completed projects. P.S. Notice the pleats on the crib skirt. I was very proud of those! I haven't decided if I'm going to add anything on to the wall hangings. Any suggestions? I've also considered making the two outside rectangles the same fabric...which fabric do you like better, the flowers or the stripes? Or should i leave them the way they are?





I'm starting to run out of things to do to keep my mind off the waiting. Suggestions anyone? I do have one more book I have to finish reading, but other than that, I don't know what else I can do to the baby room. I'm also about to have a bunch of free time with summer coming up. I have a wedding in June, and a 2 week Orff class to take in July, but other than that I don't have much going on.

Keep praying that the adoption process moves as quickly as possible, and God has the perfect baby ready and waiting for us to take home. I would like to say "thank you" though to all of you who have written recommendation letters for us. I hope you know how much Nate and I appreciate it.

Ohio Wedding!

This weekend Nate and I made a quick trip to Ohio for a wedding! Nate's brother was getting married to a wonderful girl named Lauren, and Nate was obviously a groomsman in the wedding, so he kinda had to be there! I had been going back and forth about whether or not I was going to be able to go. I know...I know...it's my brother-in-law's wedding, how could I miss it?? Well this was my first year at a new school, and I had already missed more days this year then I had probably missed in all 5 of my years at WCC, due to illness (dang swine flu!) and infertility issue stuff, so I really didn't feel comfortable missing more days. (Yes that was probably an exaggeration, but I have missed a lot more days this year than I usually do!) I did have one more personal day left though, so I decided if I was able to just miss that one day then I would go. We ended up leaving Thursday afternoon after work, Nate picked me up, and we drove 6 hours and found a hotel outside of Nashville. The next day we got up early and drove the next 7 hours to get there in time for the rehearsal and dinner.

Unfortunately Eric and Lauren had planned on having an outside wedding, but with a 90% chance of rain the next day, they had to find a church at the last minute. This made for a long night because everyone was scrambling to figure out how everything was going to work. We finally got it worked out though, and the wedding turned out beautifully. My husband looked really sexy in his brown tux...I'll try to post pictures later. I wasn't able to take any pics with my camera because I was in charge of taking pics with my mother-in-law's camera since she was obviously preoccupied. Even though I had my laptop with me, she didn't have her camera cable, so I will have to get the pictures another time.

One of the biggest things this wedding did was made me appreciate the relationships my parents and my in-laws have. I won't go into a bunch of detail unless I am given permission by those involved, but both my parents and my in-laws have loving, stable relationships, and cared more about me and Nate at our wedding then they did about themselves. I don't think we always realize what a good thing we have until we see someone else forced to be in a difficult situation through no fault of their own. I'm also very disappointed in parents who think it is ok to put their own selfish interests before those of their kids. That's all I will say about that, but I am very excited for Eric and Lauren, and know they will have a wonderful life together.

I started sewing my baby room stuff! Here is a picture of the valance I finished. I'm a little disappointed that the green didn't match the walls better, but I don't think it's going to bother me enough to try to change it. I'm planning on making the bed skirt look exactly like this valance.



No adoption news, except that I did hear some reference forms have finally been received by some of the references we put down. We had to list a TON of references, including a minister (and I think our preacher or an elder), a bunch of friends who had known us a while, and our parents. Not sure how many of these have been sent out...but it's nice to know that something is still happening.

Pilates and the baby room!

Well I went to my first night of a pilates/aerobics class that Harding is offering for the summer (so apparently "pilates" isn't a word according to blogger. am I spelling it wrong?). It was wonderful! Very relaxing and I definitely got a workout. I have never done pilates before, only yoga, but pilates seems to be very similar. I did miss doing my "tree" pose, but other than that I got to do the other yoga poses I love, and did a bunch of other exercises that I can tell really worked my muscles. I am not sure what to expect from the aerobics part of the class, but I will at least try it out. I won't be able to go much anyway until school is out. Because Conway is an hour away, I barely made it in time for this class. If I become a regular though I could probably walk in late because I did notice some people do that. Hopefully I will be able to go to just about every class offered once school is out.

So I've decided to make pieces for our baby's bedroom instead of purchasing them for a variety of reasons. I was originally looking online and found a really cute bedding set I liked. It came with a crib skirt, bumpers, quilt, and sheet. After reading here though, I realized that I wouldn't be able to use half of this set because of the risk of SIDS caused from excess bedding in the crib. I didn't like the print on the set enough to make it worth only using half of it. I don't know if it's just me being paranoid, or the fact that I feel like I'm having to work REALLY hard to get a baby, but I have this fear that once we get a baby something is going to happen to it. I just don't want it to be anything we could have prevented. So...I'm planning on making my own crib skirt for the crib, along with a curtain and other cute matching decorations, purchasing coordinating sheets, and possibly using these bumpers. I'm sure all the moms out there will have opinions about the use of bumpers, so let's hear them. As far as the room goes, we've already painted the room sage green, and I'm planning on using the colors green and brown since they are very neutral. Once we know the sex of our baby I would like to add pink or blue into the mix as well...so hopefully I'm able to incorporate those colors when the time comes. I am planning on making the crib skirt and valance solid brown, with a green section at the bottom with white polka dots on it. I wanted the theme to be polka dots, but i found some really cute material that is green with a brown floral design on it, and green/brown/white stripes, and I couldn't pass them up, so now the "theme" is just green and brown.

There is no news on the adoption front, and it's getting a little discouraging because there is nothing I can do about it. I like to be in control but this entire process keeps reminding me that I don't have any control at all. Even though I know we are supposed to give everything to God and let him be in control, don't we still need to have some control over the circumstances in our lives to be able to stay sane and function? I want to have SOMETHING I can be doing to help the process along in some way, but I haven't been able to find anything I can do at this point.

Please pray I can find peace in the fact that I have no control over the most important event going on in my life right now.

Music Program Over!

On May 3rd I finally had my 3rd and 4th grade music program, that had been postponed since February. That had definitely been a major stressor because it kept dragging out, and the kids and I both were getting tired of working on the same things. Well my kids did wonderfully and I got many comments about how great it went. I think it went about the best that it could have gone. Now I have a lot less to worry about with the end of the year coming up. I have had a wonderful first year and I am so thankful that I have the job I'm at.
Just thought I'd share. No adoption news...

Still to do...

Well I haven't posted in a while so I figured I should. There's not a whole lot going on on the adoption front, just continuing to wait. I think I'm getting really good at that. We got our autobiographies done, thank goodness, and I have 2 books read and the reports written. Right now we are still waiting on the FBI checks and references to be completed, then we have to meet with our social worker one more time. After that our home study has to be approved by the adoption agency, I have to finish reading one more book and write a report on it, and then HOPEFULLY we will get put on the list of potential adoptive parents so we can wait some more for a birth mother to choose us.

Not sure how I'm feeling. It's very difficult to be excited about waiting when EVERYONE else who is pregnant gets to go through the stages of pregnancy while they are waiting and see their body change. And they know that after 9 months they are guaranteed a child. I don't get to see any changes, just a bunch of paperwork, and unlike them, I have no guarantee of a child at the end of all the paperwork and waiting. It's also very difficult to be excited for EVERYONE who is pregnant when I don't feel like anyone is really excited for me because I don't have that "guarantee" of a child like they do. Also, the process I'm going through is not quite as exciting as getting to see your body change, getting to hear the heartbeat, see the baby and find out the gender, feel the baby kick, etc. I just have paperwork, paperwork, home study, paperwork, book reading, paper work, and more paper work. And while I'm on my rant...it's frustrating when well-meaning people talk about all the babies that are coming, and I'm not even mentioned because apparently I don't really count as having a baby since I don't have that "guarantee." Or I guess because my only "changes" involve the cramps I get in my hand from filling out paperwork, nobody realizes that I'm going through a process to get a baby just like everyone else.

Ok, I'm done. Not sure what to pray for...just pray it's all over quickly because I'm tired of waiting.

Home Study *almost* complete!

Well we had our home study today. It lasted about 2 hours and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, even though she definitely did have to ask us some tough questions. The first part of it we were all talking together, and we had to answer questions about how we first met, our courtship, what we like to do together, how we deal with conflict, what support systems we have, and our strengths and weaknesses as a couple (there were a bunch of other questions I don't remember!). Then we had to answer a bunch of questions about raising a child, how we think we can physically and emotionally meet that child's needs, how we plan to discipline our child, what kind of child we would accept, how our lives will change once we have a child, etc.

For the second part of the home study, she had to interview each of us separately. She asked us questions about how we deal with loss, stress, and crisis, whether we had been abused, and how we would describe the other person. The most frustrating thing about it was that I felt like if I said anything that wasn't positive about our relationship or about Nate, or if I didn't have the "right" answer to the questions, then that would keep us from adopting. I know i was honest though, and I'm sure Nate was too, so if our relationship is really that messed up then I guess now is the time to find out! I don't see how they could expect anyone to be perfect though, we know what our weaknesses are, and we just need to be aware of them so we can control them as much as possible, and work together to deal with them.

Here is what we still have to do to get this home study completed:
1-Complete and send to her our autobiographies! We have definitely been procrastinating on these because it is just such a difficult thing to do to write about our entire life.
2-Wait for our FBI checks to be returned. She has received the state background checks and our child maltreatment checks, but we're waiting on FBI. Hopefully we don't have anything wrong there! ;)
3-Meet with her one more time. Apparently she is required to talk with us one more time, and she will get us to clarify any questions she has, and ask us any questions about our autobiographies. She said once she gets our autobiographies and FBI checks it shouldn't take long to complete, so hopefully we can get this show on the road quickly.

For the agency we need to get them our autobiographies as well, and finish reading our books and write reports on them. I have finished one book and am 2/3rds of the way done with the second one. I hate having those hanging over my head, but they are long books, a lot of it is repetitive from book to book, and I'm just not as fast a reader as I used to be (being forced to read boring textbooks in college and grad school really burned me out on reading!).

Pray we are able to get the last few things for the home study completed quickly (dang autobiographies!), and we are able to get the books read so as soon as the home study is done the agency is able to start presenting us to birthparents.

Home Study Date!

We finally have a date set for our home study, April 8th. Yeah...that's this Thursday. I'm glad we were able to schedule it so early in April because I have so much going on at school that there aren't many days I can take off this month. We have testing for the next 2 weeks, and all the specialty teachers have to help with testing because they are required to have certified teachers administering the test. So...that means I have to be at school all of those mornings unless I'm dying because that leaves my school in a bind trying to find a certified replacement. Then after testing we have our Fine Arts Festival at school which I am teaching the music portion of. LOTS going on.

So, I'm a little nervous about this home study. I'm sure it will be fine, but I know they have to pry into our private lives to make sure we will be "fit" parents. I think it's a little unfair that anybody can get pregnant and have a baby and no one checks to see whether they are capable of raising a child, but I have to get the 3rd degree. :( I'm not sure how long the home study takes to complete, I suppose I will find that out on Thursday.

Please pray that I am able to accept this "hoop" we have to jump through, and that everything goes smoothly so we can move on to the next step in our process.

Mostly NAR

Well most of this post is not adoption related because we don't have a whole lot going on right now. I am on spring break this week and for the past 5 days I have been down in Abilene visiting my family and holding my sister's new baby. I was glad to finally see where my parents were living (they became house parents over the summer) and my new nephew is adorable. His name is Jaxon Weldon. I spent time at the house and shopping with Lindsay and Jaxon. He doesn't like traveling in the car much, especially when it's not moving, but as long as Lindsay played the song Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood then he would stop crying. We got to hear that song a LOT! It was great seeing my family but I was glad to get back home so I can have a few days of rest before going back to work.

Adoption-wise, right now we are just waiting for our background checks and child maltreatment checks to come back clean so we can complete our home study. I wish the state would hurry up so we can get this show on the road! I wish I could say that once those are returned then we will get the home study done quickly, but I know the home study is a process in itself and involves a lot of interviews, paperwork and time.

Here is a picture of my handsome nephew Jaxon.

Good News!

So, I don't have TB! Which I knew already but it was nice to have it confirmed. Once I FINALLY got to see the doctor (I'll tell that story in a minute...), he said that my x-ray was clear, and since my reaction was so small (12mm), he didn't see any reason for me to take medicine. If I ever start having any TB symptoms in the future then I need to go to my doctor, but he didn't even think I needed a yearly x-ray. So thank you for all your prayers, because they were definitely answered!

So...the doctor. I was told that the doctor came at 9AM, and it was first come first served so I needed to get there early. I worked it out with school so I wouldn't have any classes until 10:20 so I could have my appointment. I got there at 8:40 and there were 3 people ahead of me so I figured I was doing pretty good. However, the doctor didn't get there until 9:50! I don't understand why doctors think nobody else is as important as they are. So, even though there were only 3 people ahead of me, I had to call my school and re-arrange yet another class because the doctor was so late. I didn't end up leaving the health dept until 10:50, so I was almost late to my 11AM class. Ggrrr. Luckily I'm hopefully done with all that so we can concentrate on the actual adoption stuff.

One more thing, NAR (Not Adoption Related). So I got a flat tire on the way home from work. :( That was the first flat tire I have ever gotten in my entire life, so I had no idea what to do. Called my insurance but they only provided reimbursement if I had to use a tow truck. Then I called Nate and he had great plans to talk me through the tire change, but luckily someone took pity on me. I got a little nervous because I thought it was just 2 guys in the truck at first, but then I realized one was a woman, and they had 2 kids in the backseat. The husband had my tire changed within 5 minutes and I was very grateful. I know God was with me during that ordeal because when I got back in the car on my way home there was a thunderstorm warning for the county I was in, but I never saw a raindrop.

Our next step is to get our background checks and child maltreatment checks returned so we can begin our home study. Unfortunately there isn't anything we can do to rush these, so we are at the mercy of whomever does those.

How can I help?

I'm sure you have been asking yourself, "How can I help this wonderful couple in their journey to adopt a child?" I thought so. ;) Well here are some things you can do that would help us out.

1. PRAY-we need all the prayers we can get that God will make this process go smoothly and quickly, and that He will bless us with a child.

2. BUY COFFEE-We have set up an account with a site that sells coffee from Ethiopia. Just click HERE or find the link on the side of this page. Once you are on our site, you can purchase anything from the entire site...they sell many different flavors of coffee, as well as shirts, tote bags, etc. We receive a portion of the proceeds they make.

3. BUY BABY ITEMS-I just created an Etsy site where I'm selling some nursing covers and burp cloths that I made. I know that you know of someone who just had a baby or someone who is going to have a baby. That person will definitely need tons burp cloths, and if they plan on breastfeeding, they will need a nursing cover as well. All the money I make from this business will go toward our adoption. Click HERE to see my site, or find the link on the side of this page.

4. DONATE-we have a link set up on the side of this page so you can donate money to our adoption fund if you would like to.

If you know me you know that I'm definitely NOT a big fundraiser person, and I don't like asking for money, but when bringing a baby into our life is going to cost $18,000+, I'll try just about anything!

X-ray update

Well I went to the doctor today to get my x-ray done. I was amazed at how fast they were able to get the x-ray done, and the doctor was able to view it within 5 minutes as well. He's not a "chest x-ray reader" doctor so I still have to take the x-ray to the health dept, but he looked at it and said he didn't see anything suspicious on it. That definitely made me feel better though, that he didn't see anything on my x-ray. I still don't understand why I have to go through the health dept, but he said as well that even if he had sent the x-ray to another doctor to read, I still would have ended up going to the health dept anyway. He did say though, that if the health dept doctor thought he saw something, I should come back and have him send the x-ray to someone else to get a second opinion. So that made me feel a little better about the whole thing. He also said I should contact the health dept and find out what their protocol was for positive tb reactions, so I could be prepared in case they were going to make me take the 9 months of medicine whether or not my x-ray was negative. I called the health dept and the lady really did NOT want to give me a straight answer. She just kept saying that the doctor would have to read the x-ray, and it would depend on whatever he said. However, I finally got out of her that they couldn't make me take the medicine unless there was something suspicious on my x-ray. I'm not sure what I would do if the "recommended" I take the medicine but I didn't have to. I think it would probably depend on how the medicine would effect me and what the chances were that I could have problems later if I didn't take it. Pray that the health dept thinks my x-ray is negative as well, and they don't see any need for me to take medicine.