Monday, June 13, 2011
Middle Name and Due Date
Our birthmom has picked a middle name, so our son is going to be named Carter Blaine McCoy! We love the middle name, and are very excited to finally know his whole name. At the doctor's appointment today, the doctor said that everything looked so good that he was going to induce early if Carter didn't come before then, so unless Carter comes early, he will be arriving on July 6th! We are so excited and can't believe how soon that is! Please continue to pray that everything goes as planned!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
One more thing...
Please make sure you read the post below this one, which is also new. I don't usually make 2 posts so close together, but I figured this should be shared as well. I have had a few people ask me about this, and I figured even though it is a difficult situation and a little personal, it is better to share it on here so everyone has correct information.
Arkansas Law for Adoptions by Mandy:
According to Arkansas law, no papers relinquishing parental rights can be signed until after the baby is born. Then once papers are signed, the birth mother will have up to 10 days to change her mind about relinquishing her child. However, a new law was created that allows the birth mother to state that she would prefer to only have 5 days instead of the allotted 10 to change her mind. Any time during those 5 or 10 days the birth mother may change her mind and take her child back. After that time, the adoptive parents are legal guardians of the child, and the birth mother has no rights toward him or her. 6 months later the adoption is "finalized" and the child is officially "adopted" by the adoptive parents (rather than them just being guardians-my understanding anyway). After the 5 or 10 days, the only things that can "disrupt" an adoption are if the birth mother was coerced into signing the papers (she must be able to prove it, and going through a reputable agency makes this MUCH less likely), or if the birthfather hasn't been in the picture but decides to show up and claim parental rights. However, if the birthfather hasn't been around at all, a claim can be made that he abandoned the child and so forfeited his rights at that time. Thankfully we are going through an agency because I don't understand how all that works.
That is the law in a nutshell. Let me know if any of you have any additional or corrected information to add, and I will gladly update. Basically I want you to know that as excited as we are, we still have that little bit of doubt lingering in our minds, that she could still change her mind. Feel free to ask questions if you have any, and definitely still keep our family in your prayers as we wait for Carter!
Arkansas Law for Adoptions by Mandy:
According to Arkansas law, no papers relinquishing parental rights can be signed until after the baby is born. Then once papers are signed, the birth mother will have up to 10 days to change her mind about relinquishing her child. However, a new law was created that allows the birth mother to state that she would prefer to only have 5 days instead of the allotted 10 to change her mind. Any time during those 5 or 10 days the birth mother may change her mind and take her child back. After that time, the adoptive parents are legal guardians of the child, and the birth mother has no rights toward him or her. 6 months later the adoption is "finalized" and the child is officially "adopted" by the adoptive parents (rather than them just being guardians-my understanding anyway). After the 5 or 10 days, the only things that can "disrupt" an adoption are if the birth mother was coerced into signing the papers (she must be able to prove it, and going through a reputable agency makes this MUCH less likely), or if the birthfather hasn't been in the picture but decides to show up and claim parental rights. However, if the birthfather hasn't been around at all, a claim can be made that he abandoned the child and so forfeited his rights at that time. Thankfully we are going through an agency because I don't understand how all that works.
That is the law in a nutshell. Let me know if any of you have any additional or corrected information to add, and I will gladly update. Basically I want you to know that as excited as we are, we still have that little bit of doubt lingering in our minds, that she could still change her mind. Feel free to ask questions if you have any, and definitely still keep our family in your prayers as we wait for Carter!
C is for Carter
4 weeks! We are very excited and can't wait to be a family of 3. There isn't a whole lot of news to share about Carter and our birthmother. They are both doing well, Carter is getting bigger and everything seems to be fine. I have been going to her doctor appointments which has been a wonderful experience, but everything seems to be pretty routine. Everyone keeps asking me if there is any news, but if they've heard that we're having a boy due July 10th and naming him Carter, I'm really not sure what else to share. Anyone have any suggestions of things they/you would like to hear about?
Here is something else I made for Carter. I saw something similar at Hay's for $25, and you KNOW I'm not about to pay that much for something my child will only wear a few times, so I decided to make one. I spent maybe $7, which is much more reasonable.
The only problem is...I'm not sure exactly how big it is! I bought the smaller pattern which has "newborn," "small," and "medium" on it, but the only measurements it gives for comparison are the baby's head size. So...I was expecting this to be somewhere in the 0-3 month range since I made a small...but I think it is more in the 6 month range. Which means I may have messed myself up, because by the time it fits him it may be too cold for him to wear it! Oh well...at least I didn't pay $25!!
P.S. I tried and tried to get this picture straightened correctly, but I failed. So you will just have to view it sideways! Sorry!
Here is something else I made for Carter. I saw something similar at Hay's for $25, and you KNOW I'm not about to pay that much for something my child will only wear a few times, so I decided to make one. I spent maybe $7, which is much more reasonable.
The only problem is...I'm not sure exactly how big it is! I bought the smaller pattern which has "newborn," "small," and "medium" on it, but the only measurements it gives for comparison are the baby's head size. So...I was expecting this to be somewhere in the 0-3 month range since I made a small...but I think it is more in the 6 month range. Which means I may have messed myself up, because by the time it fits him it may be too cold for him to wear it! Oh well...at least I didn't pay $25!!
P.S. I tried and tried to get this picture straightened correctly, but I failed. So you will just have to view it sideways! Sorry!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Stuff for Carter!
I've been busy making stuff for Carter! I may have gone a little overboard, but I want my boy to have cute stuff, and it is definitely hard to find in stores for reasonable prices!
I appliqued "ties" onto onesies so I can dress him up a little!
I saw an elephant onesie similar to this one at Hay's for $25! I wasn't about to pay that much so I decided to make my own!
A polka-dot boppy cover.
Burp cloths to match everything else I made!
Monday, May 23, 2011
IT'S A BOY!!!
We found out today that we are "having" a boy! We are sssooooo excited! We are going to name him Carter, and we decided to let our birth mother pick his middle name, so he will have a piece of both of us in his name. She is always going to be a part of our lives and our son's life, and I want our son to know that we respected and appreciated his birth mother enough to let her take a part in naming him.
I got to go to her ultrasound which was a wonderful experience, but took forever. The appointment was at 2:15, and we had to wait in the waiting room for about 20 minutes, only to find out that we needed to go to a different office (down the hall) to get the ultrasound. So we had to go down there and wait a while longer. Then the ultrasound itself took about 30 minutes, and then we went back to the first waiting room to wait to see the doctor. Unfortunately, her doctor had been called out for a delivery, and another doctor in the practice had a family emergency, so there was one doctor seeing all the patients for 3 doctors! Needless to say, we were there a while. We didn't even see the doctor until after 4, and we had been there since 2:15. But it was alright, it was definitely worth it! And I got to spend some more time with our birth mother which was a blessing.
After the appointment, I went straight to Michael's and bought some wooden letters to spell out "CARTER," blue paint to paint them, and brown ribbon with blue polka dots on it to hang them on the wall. That's my next project! Please pray everything continues to go as smoothly as it has been!
I got to go to her ultrasound which was a wonderful experience, but took forever. The appointment was at 2:15, and we had to wait in the waiting room for about 20 minutes, only to find out that we needed to go to a different office (down the hall) to get the ultrasound. So we had to go down there and wait a while longer. Then the ultrasound itself took about 30 minutes, and then we went back to the first waiting room to wait to see the doctor. Unfortunately, her doctor had been called out for a delivery, and another doctor in the practice had a family emergency, so there was one doctor seeing all the patients for 3 doctors! Needless to say, we were there a while. We didn't even see the doctor until after 4, and we had been there since 2:15. But it was alright, it was definitely worth it! And I got to spend some more time with our birth mother which was a blessing.
After the appointment, I went straight to Michael's and bought some wooden letters to spell out "CARTER," blue paint to paint them, and brown ribbon with blue polka dots on it to hang them on the wall. That's my next project! Please pray everything continues to go as smoothly as it has been!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Birthmother meeting!
We got to meet our birth mother for the first time tonight! We went to Dixie Cafe with her and the worker at Bethany who works with birth mothers. It was a wonderful meeting, and she is definitely a blessing for us! We bought her a heart necklace that had a ruby in it (July birthstone), to let her know we knew this baby would always be in her heart, and that she would always be in our hearts. I also brought a present for her son (coloring books and a crayon roll-up). We ended up talking for around 2 hours, and many stories and a few tears were shed. I think the worker was trying to wrap us up! I can't wait to go to the ultrasound next week to find out what "we" are having! She wants me to be in the delivery room with her, which is amazing, but I'm feeling sad for her because I don't think there are going to be many people there for her. I know she will have one friend there and I think that's it. I need to have something special for her...ideas? She is so amazing, because everything she says shows that she really wants this to be a special and amazing time for Nate and I, even though I know it must be difficult for her. I'm not sure how much I should share about her and her family, because I want our child to have the option to decide who he or she would like to share personal information with. Do any adoptive parents have any thoughts on that matter? Lift up a prayer of thanksgiving that everything went so well, and continue to pray that the next 2 months (and years to come!) go just as smoothly!
Friday, May 13, 2011
WE'VE BEEN MATCHED!!!!
As of Monday evening, May 9th, we have been matched with a birthmother! I got “the call” while I was in the middle of yoga that evening. Of course my phone wasn’t on silent, so I just let it go to voicemail. Then when yoga was over at 8, I saw I had a voicemail from our social worker. She said she just wanted to “touch base” but was trying to call when we were both home, so if we got the message before 8:30 PM to call her back. Well neither of us were at home, and we figured she probably just wanted to update our paperwork, but we hurried home anyway. Then when I called, she told us we had been matched with a birthmother who was due July 10th! We were very excited! Apparently she wanted a childless couple (which we were), and once she saw our profile she didn’t want to look at anymore! She liked that we were musical because she had been in band, and she liked that I was a teacher because she thought I would have a lot of patience! We will meet her for the first time next week, and we were told that she wanted me to be surprised about the sex of the baby, so I get to go to a doctor’s appointment with her in 2 weeks to see an ultrasound. It is really sweet of her to want me to have this experience that I otherwise would never get to have. I can’t wait to find out the gender so I can finally get our baby room finished!
This is a definite praise to God, because we have been waiting “patiently” for a very long time. We are so thankful for her, and ask all of you to send up a prayer to God on her behalf, thanking Him for bringing her into our lives, and asking Him to be with her and comfort her during the difficult time ahead. There are still some fears in the back of my mind, because even though she sounds like she is very sure in her decision, she is still able to change her mind up to 10 days after the baby is born (if she signs the paperwork right away). However, I am trying to be positive and excited for us, and just get us ready for a new baby.
There is a lot to think about. We have to make sure we have insurance that covers a baby, a pediatrician, child care, I have to make sure my job is covered for at least a month, and I have to make lesson plans for the time I will be off. If anyone has any suggestions for child care in Searcy, either someone who is looking to take care of a baby in their home, or day cares that you would recommend and trust, then we are definitely open to that info. I’m trying not to stress about that, because I know it can be difficult getting into the “good” day cares but we need to know which ones to look at before we even try to get on any waiting lists! I’m sure we are also open to pediatrician ideas while you’re at it!
All that to say, praise God! He is good!
This is a definite praise to God, because we have been waiting “patiently” for a very long time. We are so thankful for her, and ask all of you to send up a prayer to God on her behalf, thanking Him for bringing her into our lives, and asking Him to be with her and comfort her during the difficult time ahead. There are still some fears in the back of my mind, because even though she sounds like she is very sure in her decision, she is still able to change her mind up to 10 days after the baby is born (if she signs the paperwork right away). However, I am trying to be positive and excited for us, and just get us ready for a new baby.
There is a lot to think about. We have to make sure we have insurance that covers a baby, a pediatrician, child care, I have to make sure my job is covered for at least a month, and I have to make lesson plans for the time I will be off. If anyone has any suggestions for child care in Searcy, either someone who is looking to take care of a baby in their home, or day cares that you would recommend and trust, then we are definitely open to that info. I’m trying not to stress about that, because I know it can be difficult getting into the “good” day cares but we need to know which ones to look at before we even try to get on any waiting lists! I’m sure we are also open to pediatrician ideas while you’re at it!
All that to say, praise God! He is good!
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