Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Well I wasn't planning on making this post because I really wanted to wait until we had more definite information one way or the other before saying anything. However, since this blog is titled "Adoption Adventures" I figure that this is one of our adventures no matter how it turns out. So, yes Mom, even though I told you to keep it to yourself, since I decided to post it here you have my permission to spread the word to other family if you want to. Or you can just direct them to this blog.

I am very excited because Nate and I got an email today about a possible birth mother. This was definitely out of the blue because I figured we had months to wait before we would even be considered at all. This isn't a normal situation and there certainly isn't anything definite, which is why I was cautious about sharing it. The birth mother is 2 months pregnant, and she and the birth father have showed some interest in us. An agency in St. Louis contacted our agency and asked if they had anyone who fit the profile the birth parents were looking for. They wanted a younger couple who didn't have any children...which we definitely fit! However, agencies really don't suggest looking seriously at adoptive parent profiles until the 5th-7th month so this is obviously way early, and a lot can happen in 7 months. Also, because they are working on this so early, they are talking with more than one couple, which means even if they do stick with their decision to make an adoption plan for their child, we may not be the couple they pick. I have been very impressed with everything I have heard about these birth parents though, and they seem to be really responsible and want to do what is best for their baby rather than what is best for them. We will be going up some time next week to meet them, so hopefully that will go well, we will all feel comfortable together and we can learn more about each other and about their desires for their coming baby.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up, because I know that the majority of birth parents ultimately decide to parent their child, but the timing of this just seems to perfect. She isn't due until March which means my programs would both be out of the way, and out of the 8 weeks of my "maternity leave," 3 of those wouldn't even involve music instruction in my classroom because of spring break and 2 weeks of testing. That would leave only a few weeks left in May before summer came, and we think Nate would be able to take off or work from home then, so that our baby wouldn't have to be in someone else's care until he or she was 6 months old. I would feel a lot more comfortable about leaving my child with someone else at 6 months rather than 2 months. We are praying we are able to find child care with someone we know, but first we need a baby to get child care for! So this whole thing is either God showing us how he works in every situation, or Satan trying to get my hopes up and then dash them. No matter what happens though, it was a huge comfort to know there was someone who was actually considering us to be the parents of their baby. One of the biggest things I have been struggling with is feelings of inadequacy, that maybe no birth parents will ever want to choose us. So I am definitely thankful for this in that regard.

Please pray that God's will is done, and if we aren't meant to have this baby that my heart won't be too badly broken. And please pray for this baby, that all the decisions that are made are all in thinking about the baby's best interests, rather than my best interests or the birth parents' best interests.