Furniture

Since I don't seem to have anything else going on in my life to focus my time on, I decided to paint the furniture we had for the baby room. We had a bunch of furniture that was all mismatched, and none of it was the color I wanted it to be, so I painted all of it (except for the cradle we got from Nate's parents, I couldn't bring myself to paint an heirloom!) Now all the furniture is an espresso color that I also want for the crib we end up getting. I'm really happy with how the color turned out, unfortunately I'm not as happy with how the texture turned out. They were all composite, so I sanded them all down before I painted them to make the paint stick better. Unfortunately the bookshelves are all still kinda sticky and if I take my nail to them I could just scrape the paint off. Since I hadn't primed them before I painted them, I made sure to prime the dresser before I painted it. Unfortunately the dresser still turned out the same way. I don't know if I didn't sand them enough, or if there was something with the paint (I got a semi-gloss) or if there is some coating I could put on top of them or what. So...I'm really happy with how they look, but I'm not sure how long they will hold up with actual use. Luckily they were all really cheap so if we end up having to scrap them and start over it won't be the end of the world. Here are some pictures of the furniture.





Still no news. We are hopefully going to an orientation meeting with Bethany Christian Services in Little Rock on Wednesday, which is an agency a lot closer to home. They seem to be priced about the same as CFS, and they said it would be ok for us to work with 2 agencies, and I *think* we should be able to use our same home study. We obviously aren't going to go through the trouble of working with another agency if we have to have a new home study done, but I'm certainly open to being presented to as many birth parents as possible. I'm hoping to learn more at the meeting, to decide for sure whether or not we want to go with another agency as well.

They didn't choose us

Well apparently we aren't as great as we thought we were. :( I emailed the social worker to try to find out the birth parents' decision, and she emailed back and said they chose another family. So that was a downer. I hate this feeling because I keep wondering if there is something terrible about us that is going to keep any birth parent from choosing us. And unfortunately even if there is, there isn't anything we can do about it since we can't get pregnant on our own.

So now we are back to waiting again. Please don't ask me how it's going, because that's just a constant reminder of how little control I have over my life. On top of that, infinite waiting with no hope on the horizon really sucks. Trust me, if something happens, you will either hear from me or if you don't see me it will be posted on my blog. Until then, you can tell me you are praying for us, we certainly appreciate your prayers, but anything else is just going to make me feel worse about everything.

Boppy Covers

I made some boppy covers! I kind of created a pattern for them by measuring one that was already made. I had to use velcro on the back instead of a zipper, because zippers are much more difficult to put in, but I think they still look good. They were WAY cheaper than buying them, and I got to pick the fabrics. 2 of them match my green and brown scheme, and the other one is a floral print that I couldn't pass up.

We still haven't heard anything about the birth parents' decision, but I'm going to try to find out something this week if we don't hear anything. We really need to know whether we need to let our social worker know to keep presenting our profile to other birth parents or not. So we shall see. Keep praying that this works out, that we will either be chosen by these birth parents or other birth parents will be shown our profile and quickly choose us! We would love to work with these birth parents though.

Back Home

Well we made it back from St. Louis! We got to meet BOTH the birthparents which is amazing (very rare for a birth father to be involved), and Nate and I felt really comfortable with them and would love the opportunity to parent their baby. One of the workers in the room with us was always quick to remind everyone that this was just a "get to know you" meeting, and they are looking at other adoptive parents as well, so we still don't know for sure whether or not we will be the couple "chosen." Pray that the birth parents thought we were as wonderful as we think we are, and they want us to parent their baby. I have a surprise for you toward the end of this blog, so now you have incentive to read all about our adventures!

Here is a play by play:
Wednesday after work we drove up to St. Louis since we would have needed to leave REALLY early in the morning on Thursday to make it to the meeting, and there is hardly anywhere along the way to stop. That was actually kind of a problem because when we were needing to stop for gas, the only gas station we could find was one that had pumps that were from the 50's. Yeah we didn't stop there. So we got kinda worried but ended up finding a random Wal Mart in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of shady people driving around it. Needless to say we filled up fast! Once we got close to our hotel, we started getting worried about the area of town that our hotel was in. On the road to our hotel we saw a closed mall, an adult novelty store, and a gas station that had a lighted picture of a majorette, that definitely made the gas station look like a strip club. Our hotel was called the "airport" location, so I assumed it was near the airport (should be safer), but maybe they just meant they were not near any airports...not sure.

On Thursday we took our time getting up, since neither of us got much sleep the night before. We got ready and left the hotel at 10:15 to make the 20 min drive to the agency. We found it really easily, but I realized I hadn't brought anything to write on, and I was worried I might need to take notes so we quickly went and found a dollar store so I could get a notebook. We still made it back to the agency with about 5 min before 11. I thought we would be waiting a while or would get some one-on-one time with the social worker first, but right after coming in we went up to the room where the birth parents were waiting. Talk about nerve-wracking. I had a really good time talking with them, and felt like we learned a lot about them. I don't feel like Nate and I talked about ourselves as much as I was expecting to, so I'm hoping that's just because they already knew most of the basics from reading all our profile stuff. We discussed topics such as why we chose adoption (which you know if you have been reading our blog), why the birth parents chose to make an adoption plan for their baby, the degree of openness desired, the amount of contact during the pregnancy, what the birth parents would like their child to know about them, and how they thought adoption would change them, along with many other subjects. Now for the surprise...I'm only going to tell you though if you promise to keep reading to see what we did after our meeting. Promise? Good. Well...the very last thing the birth father wanted to check with us on was whether we cared about the sex of the baby, because they obviously didn't know what it was yet. We said we didn't care because if we had been able to get pregnant we wouldn't get to pick, so this wasn't any different. Then he said there was the slight possibility that she could be having twins! Apparently twins run in both their families, which makes it a lot more likely. So...there is the slight possibility that we could end up with two babies! That would be totally crazy...but adoption doesn't cost anymore for twins than it does for one baby, so we could get the two children we wanted in one swoop. Yes...I know it would be insane trying to take care of TWO babies, but that would be exciting. She won't find out for sure on that though until the end of September. The only thing I was really disappointed with about this meeting was that I was hoping we would get more info about the timeline...like when they will have chosen by and whether or not we would need to come to St. Louis anymore if we were chosen, etc. But I didn't really feel comfortable bringing that up in front of the birth parents since they haven't made their decision yet, and we never did get to talk to the social worker alone since she kept talking with the birth parents after we were done. So oh well. If I don't hear from her soon I will try to email her to find out when the decision should be made by, and once we find out whether or not the birth parents pick us, I will know how to proceed with my questions for her.

So, after the meeting was over, we were hungry and emotionally drained, so we decided to find somewhere good to eat lunch. We found an Applebee's close by and had a good meal there. After that, we decided to go visit the Gateway Arch located in St. Louis. We had never been to St. Louis before, but both our parents had, so we figured since we were in St. Louis we would go try to see he Arch too. That was a neat experience. We tried to take pics of ourselves in front of the arch, but it was so tall you couldn't see most of the arch. We almost didn't think we would get to go in because they had metal detectors you had to pass through, and said no weapons were allowed. Nate has a pocket knife he always carries, and wouldn't be able to part with. I told him we should ask them and see if they would hold it, but it ended up being ok because his was less than 4" and didn't have a spring. While there we even got to take a "tram" ride up to the top of the arch, and look out some windows at the buildings below. That whole part was kinda scary...the "trams" were these round cars that held 5 people each, but the doorway into them was only 4 ft tall so you had to crouch to get in, and they were VERY cramped inside. When buying our tickets they even asked us if we were claustrophobic, and now I know why! Once we got to the top the view was amazing, but of course I have a thing with heights, and since the arch is rounded at the top, I kept having this feeling that the very center of the arch where we were would just come crashing down. I managed to hold myself together though, and made it back down in one piece.

After enjoying the arch, we decided to head home since we both have to go to work tomorrow. I had a really good time on this trip, and I'm excited to hopefully see our adoption move forward. Please pray the birth parents are able to make a decision quickly, and hopefully it will be us!