Adoption Language

I've been meaning to write this post for a while but I kept forgetting. A few months ago I had a kindergartner come into my class and inform me that he knew what adoption was! I hadn't said anything to the class about how I was adopting, so this was a little random, but I went ahead and asked him what it was. He said, "It's when kids are locked up in cages and people buy them." Well I told him "No that isn't right, but would you like to know what it really means?" Then I proceeded to share with him how adoption is when a mommy and daddy have a baby they love very much, but they aren't able to take care of any baby right then, so they find a mommy and daddy who are able to take care of their baby and love it very much. Probably went into way too much detail for a 5 year old, but it hit a little too close to home. I'm not surprised about his idea of adoption, because for most kids, the only "adoption" they ever see is at a humane society and adopting a pet. And those animals are in cages and you pay for them. But I do think it's important for us to explain to our children what adoption really is, especially if you have people in your life who are touched by adoption. I do think pet adoptions are great by the way, as long as you make a point to keep that pet for as long as it is alive. Kids are very literal when they're young, and if they see a pet given away because of something it does, they will think the same thing could happen to a child.
Here is some "adoption friendly" language to use with your child when talking about adoption, and when talking to anyone touched by adoption.
Don't use/Do use
Children of your own = biological child

Real child = biological child

Given up for adoption = made an adoption plan

How much did it cost to buy your child=agency fees and lawyer fees must be expensive

Never say “once you adopt you will get pregnant." For those of us that this definitely isn’t a possibility for it is just hurtful, and for everyone else, it gives the impression that adoption is a second-best way to become a parent.

Hopefully this has helped educate you some about how to discuss adoption! This wasn't directed toward anyone in particular, just a general education lesson based on my experience.

Spring Break

I've been on Spring Break this week, and I've been enjoying actually having time to get things done. When I only have Saturday and a few hours Sunday to work at home, it's difficult to tackle much. I've been doing some major cleaning around the house to find stuff we want to get rid of so I can sell it in a yard sale some of the young marrieds are having. I've already found just about everything we want to get rid of, and I have them labeled with prices. Today I got Nate's oil changed, and took some clothes to the consignment shop. Then I made all of this...

Signs for the yard sale...

a drum for an African unit I'm doing at school (I will need many more of these but this is a sample so hopefully some parent volunteers can make more!) I made it out of a coffee can!

and I put together our baby crib!

P.S. Did I mention that I painted our guest room/Nate's office a blue grey on Tuesday? It looks great! Haven't taken a picture yet though. :(

Disappointment and discouragement

Well we had another birthmother overlook us. That now makes 4 that we know about, and one of our agencies doesn't always tell us when they have a birthmother. Just to recap:

19 months since we began fertility treatments
14 months since we officially decided to adopt
13 months since our first adoption meeting
8 months since we were officially approved to adopt
7 months since BM #1 turned us down
Somewhere in here were 2 more birthmothers who didn't choose us
2 months since we were officially approved with Bethany
3 weeks since we had to choose not to be presented to a BM due to health issues
2 days since the BM #4 turned us down

So...all that to say it's getting very hard not to get discouraged. Imagine how you would feel if you were picked last every time you were playing a game. It would start making you feel pretty bad about yourself wouldn't it? Now imagine not being picked at all. MULTIPLE TIMES. That's where I am. And I don't even know why we aren't being chosen. I suppose it doesn't really matter though since there isn't anything we can do about it.
Sorry for the downer post, but it was kind of a downer day.

Stuff

I had a good time tonight shopping at the Rhea Lana children's consignment sale in Conway with a friend this evening. Unfortunately, it was really crowded even though it wasn't even open to the public yet, and we ended up waiting in line around 45 minutes! Crazy! Our husbands had come along and they were shopping at "boy stores" while we were at the sale, but I think they got bored. We went to eat in Conway afterwards. I got some good stuff, some more bottles, a swaddle sleeper, cute clothes, and a bunch of Baby Einstein videos! I was really impressed at their video selection.

Just in case you haven't see it yet, here is our adoption video that I made. Please feel free to share the website with anyone you want.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNyV6IywE-M
Also, please pray about our adoption process that God's will is done.

PLEASE PRAY!

That's all I'm going to say...but we definitely need prayers lifted up about our baby situation!