Adoption Language

I've been meaning to write this post for a while but I kept forgetting. A few months ago I had a kindergartner come into my class and inform me that he knew what adoption was! I hadn't said anything to the class about how I was adopting, so this was a little random, but I went ahead and asked him what it was. He said, "It's when kids are locked up in cages and people buy them." Well I told him "No that isn't right, but would you like to know what it really means?" Then I proceeded to share with him how adoption is when a mommy and daddy have a baby they love very much, but they aren't able to take care of any baby right then, so they find a mommy and daddy who are able to take care of their baby and love it very much. Probably went into way too much detail for a 5 year old, but it hit a little too close to home. I'm not surprised about his idea of adoption, because for most kids, the only "adoption" they ever see is at a humane society and adopting a pet. And those animals are in cages and you pay for them. But I do think it's important for us to explain to our children what adoption really is, especially if you have people in your life who are touched by adoption. I do think pet adoptions are great by the way, as long as you make a point to keep that pet for as long as it is alive. Kids are very literal when they're young, and if they see a pet given away because of something it does, they will think the same thing could happen to a child.
Here is some "adoption friendly" language to use with your child when talking about adoption, and when talking to anyone touched by adoption.
Don't use/Do use
Children of your own = biological child

Real child = biological child

Given up for adoption = made an adoption plan

How much did it cost to buy your child=agency fees and lawyer fees must be expensive

Never say “once you adopt you will get pregnant." For those of us that this definitely isn’t a possibility for it is just hurtful, and for everyone else, it gives the impression that adoption is a second-best way to become a parent.

Hopefully this has helped educate you some about how to discuss adoption! This wasn't directed toward anyone in particular, just a general education lesson based on my experience.