Well apparently we aren't as great as we thought we were. :( I emailed the social worker to try to find out the birth parents' decision, and she emailed back and said they chose another family. So that was a downer. I hate this feeling because I keep wondering if there is something terrible about us that is going to keep any birth parent from choosing us. And unfortunately even if there is, there isn't anything we can do about it since we can't get pregnant on our own.
So now we are back to waiting again. Please don't ask me how it's going, because that's just a constant reminder of how little control I have over my life. On top of that, infinite waiting with no hope on the horizon really sucks. Trust me, if something happens, you will either hear from me or if you don't see me it will be posted on my blog. Until then, you can tell me you are praying for us, we certainly appreciate your prayers, but anything else is just going to make me feel worse about everything.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Boppy Covers
I made some boppy covers! I kind of created a pattern for them by measuring one that was already made. I had to use velcro on the back instead of a zipper, because zippers are much more difficult to put in, but I think they still look good. They were WAY cheaper than buying them, and I got to pick the fabrics. 2 of them match my green and brown scheme, and the other one is a floral print that I couldn't pass up.
We still haven't heard anything about the birth parents' decision, but I'm going to try to find out something this week if we don't hear anything. We really need to know whether we need to let our social worker know to keep presenting our profile to other birth parents or not. So we shall see. Keep praying that this works out, that we will either be chosen by these birth parents or other birth parents will be shown our profile and quickly choose us! We would love to work with these birth parents though.
We still haven't heard anything about the birth parents' decision, but I'm going to try to find out something this week if we don't hear anything. We really need to know whether we need to let our social worker know to keep presenting our profile to other birth parents or not. So we shall see. Keep praying that this works out, that we will either be chosen by these birth parents or other birth parents will be shown our profile and quickly choose us! We would love to work with these birth parents though.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Back Home
Well we made it back from St. Louis! We got to meet BOTH the birthparents which is amazing (very rare for a birth father to be involved), and Nate and I felt really comfortable with them and would love the opportunity to parent their baby. One of the workers in the room with us was always quick to remind everyone that this was just a "get to know you" meeting, and they are looking at other adoptive parents as well, so we still don't know for sure whether or not we will be the couple "chosen." Pray that the birth parents thought we were as wonderful as we think we are, and they want us to parent their baby. I have a surprise for you toward the end of this blog, so now you have incentive to read all about our adventures!
Here is a play by play:
Wednesday after work we drove up to St. Louis since we would have needed to leave REALLY early in the morning on Thursday to make it to the meeting, and there is hardly anywhere along the way to stop. That was actually kind of a problem because when we were needing to stop for gas, the only gas station we could find was one that had pumps that were from the 50's. Yeah we didn't stop there. So we got kinda worried but ended up finding a random Wal Mart in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of shady people driving around it. Needless to say we filled up fast! Once we got close to our hotel, we started getting worried about the area of town that our hotel was in. On the road to our hotel we saw a closed mall, an adult novelty store, and a gas station that had a lighted picture of a majorette, that definitely made the gas station look like a strip club. Our hotel was called the "airport" location, so I assumed it was near the airport (should be safer), but maybe they just meant they were not near any airports...not sure.
On Thursday we took our time getting up, since neither of us got much sleep the night before. We got ready and left the hotel at 10:15 to make the 20 min drive to the agency. We found it really easily, but I realized I hadn't brought anything to write on, and I was worried I might need to take notes so we quickly went and found a dollar store so I could get a notebook. We still made it back to the agency with about 5 min before 11. I thought we would be waiting a while or would get some one-on-one time with the social worker first, but right after coming in we went up to the room where the birth parents were waiting. Talk about nerve-wracking. I had a really good time talking with them, and felt like we learned a lot about them. I don't feel like Nate and I talked about ourselves as much as I was expecting to, so I'm hoping that's just because they already knew most of the basics from reading all our profile stuff. We discussed topics such as why we chose adoption (which you know if you have been reading our blog), why the birth parents chose to make an adoption plan for their baby, the degree of openness desired, the amount of contact during the pregnancy, what the birth parents would like their child to know about them, and how they thought adoption would change them, along with many other subjects. Now for the surprise...I'm only going to tell you though if you promise to keep reading to see what we did after our meeting. Promise? Good. Well...the very last thing the birth father wanted to check with us on was whether we cared about the sex of the baby, because they obviously didn't know what it was yet. We said we didn't care because if we had been able to get pregnant we wouldn't get to pick, so this wasn't any different. Then he said there was the slight possibility that she could be having twins! Apparently twins run in both their families, which makes it a lot more likely. So...there is the slight possibility that we could end up with two babies! That would be totally crazy...but adoption doesn't cost anymore for twins than it does for one baby, so we could get the two children we wanted in one swoop. Yes...I know it would be insane trying to take care of TWO babies, but that would be exciting. She won't find out for sure on that though until the end of September. The only thing I was really disappointed with about this meeting was that I was hoping we would get more info about the timeline...like when they will have chosen by and whether or not we would need to come to St. Louis anymore if we were chosen, etc. But I didn't really feel comfortable bringing that up in front of the birth parents since they haven't made their decision yet, and we never did get to talk to the social worker alone since she kept talking with the birth parents after we were done. So oh well. If I don't hear from her soon I will try to email her to find out when the decision should be made by, and once we find out whether or not the birth parents pick us, I will know how to proceed with my questions for her.
So, after the meeting was over, we were hungry and emotionally drained, so we decided to find somewhere good to eat lunch. We found an Applebee's close by and had a good meal there. After that, we decided to go visit the Gateway Arch located in St. Louis. We had never been to St. Louis before, but both our parents had, so we figured since we were in St. Louis we would go try to see he Arch too. That was a neat experience. We tried to take pics of ourselves in front of the arch, but it was so tall you couldn't see most of the arch. We almost didn't think we would get to go in because they had metal detectors you had to pass through, and said no weapons were allowed. Nate has a pocket knife he always carries, and wouldn't be able to part with. I told him we should ask them and see if they would hold it, but it ended up being ok because his was less than 4" and didn't have a spring. While there we even got to take a "tram" ride up to the top of the arch, and look out some windows at the buildings below. That whole part was kinda scary...the "trams" were these round cars that held 5 people each, but the doorway into them was only 4 ft tall so you had to crouch to get in, and they were VERY cramped inside. When buying our tickets they even asked us if we were claustrophobic, and now I know why! Once we got to the top the view was amazing, but of course I have a thing with heights, and since the arch is rounded at the top, I kept having this feeling that the very center of the arch where we were would just come crashing down. I managed to hold myself together though, and made it back down in one piece.
After enjoying the arch, we decided to head home since we both have to go to work tomorrow. I had a really good time on this trip, and I'm excited to hopefully see our adoption move forward. Please pray the birth parents are able to make a decision quickly, and hopefully it will be us!
Here is a play by play:
Wednesday after work we drove up to St. Louis since we would have needed to leave REALLY early in the morning on Thursday to make it to the meeting, and there is hardly anywhere along the way to stop. That was actually kind of a problem because when we were needing to stop for gas, the only gas station we could find was one that had pumps that were from the 50's. Yeah we didn't stop there. So we got kinda worried but ended up finding a random Wal Mart in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of shady people driving around it. Needless to say we filled up fast! Once we got close to our hotel, we started getting worried about the area of town that our hotel was in. On the road to our hotel we saw a closed mall, an adult novelty store, and a gas station that had a lighted picture of a majorette, that definitely made the gas station look like a strip club. Our hotel was called the "airport" location, so I assumed it was near the airport (should be safer), but maybe they just meant they were not near any airports...not sure.
On Thursday we took our time getting up, since neither of us got much sleep the night before. We got ready and left the hotel at 10:15 to make the 20 min drive to the agency. We found it really easily, but I realized I hadn't brought anything to write on, and I was worried I might need to take notes so we quickly went and found a dollar store so I could get a notebook. We still made it back to the agency with about 5 min before 11. I thought we would be waiting a while or would get some one-on-one time with the social worker first, but right after coming in we went up to the room where the birth parents were waiting. Talk about nerve-wracking. I had a really good time talking with them, and felt like we learned a lot about them. I don't feel like Nate and I talked about ourselves as much as I was expecting to, so I'm hoping that's just because they already knew most of the basics from reading all our profile stuff. We discussed topics such as why we chose adoption (which you know if you have been reading our blog), why the birth parents chose to make an adoption plan for their baby, the degree of openness desired, the amount of contact during the pregnancy, what the birth parents would like their child to know about them, and how they thought adoption would change them, along with many other subjects. Now for the surprise...I'm only going to tell you though if you promise to keep reading to see what we did after our meeting. Promise? Good. Well...the very last thing the birth father wanted to check with us on was whether we cared about the sex of the baby, because they obviously didn't know what it was yet. We said we didn't care because if we had been able to get pregnant we wouldn't get to pick, so this wasn't any different. Then he said there was the slight possibility that she could be having twins! Apparently twins run in both their families, which makes it a lot more likely. So...there is the slight possibility that we could end up with two babies! That would be totally crazy...but adoption doesn't cost anymore for twins than it does for one baby, so we could get the two children we wanted in one swoop. Yes...I know it would be insane trying to take care of TWO babies, but that would be exciting. She won't find out for sure on that though until the end of September. The only thing I was really disappointed with about this meeting was that I was hoping we would get more info about the timeline...like when they will have chosen by and whether or not we would need to come to St. Louis anymore if we were chosen, etc. But I didn't really feel comfortable bringing that up in front of the birth parents since they haven't made their decision yet, and we never did get to talk to the social worker alone since she kept talking with the birth parents after we were done. So oh well. If I don't hear from her soon I will try to email her to find out when the decision should be made by, and once we find out whether or not the birth parents pick us, I will know how to proceed with my questions for her.
So, after the meeting was over, we were hungry and emotionally drained, so we decided to find somewhere good to eat lunch. We found an Applebee's close by and had a good meal there. After that, we decided to go visit the Gateway Arch located in St. Louis. We had never been to St. Louis before, but both our parents had, so we figured since we were in St. Louis we would go try to see he Arch too. That was a neat experience. We tried to take pics of ourselves in front of the arch, but it was so tall you couldn't see most of the arch. We almost didn't think we would get to go in because they had metal detectors you had to pass through, and said no weapons were allowed. Nate has a pocket knife he always carries, and wouldn't be able to part with. I told him we should ask them and see if they would hold it, but it ended up being ok because his was less than 4" and didn't have a spring. While there we even got to take a "tram" ride up to the top of the arch, and look out some windows at the buildings below. That whole part was kinda scary...the "trams" were these round cars that held 5 people each, but the doorway into them was only 4 ft tall so you had to crouch to get in, and they were VERY cramped inside. When buying our tickets they even asked us if we were claustrophobic, and now I know why! Once we got to the top the view was amazing, but of course I have a thing with heights, and since the arch is rounded at the top, I kept having this feeling that the very center of the arch where we were would just come crashing down. I managed to hold myself together though, and made it back down in one piece.
After enjoying the arch, we decided to head home since we both have to go to work tomorrow. I had a really good time on this trip, and I'm excited to hopefully see our adoption move forward. Please pray the birth parents are able to make a decision quickly, and hopefully it will be us!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Meeting Day
We will be meeting the potential birthparents this Thursday, at 11AM in St. Louis! I am really excited, but I'm also just as nervous because I have no idea what to expect, and know that we have no guarantees at all. It is really awkward meeting someone you don't know at all, but you are hoping will choose to give you something very special that they have. Kinda like a job interview...but way worse! Please pray that everything goes well, and that God's will is done no matter what the outcome. And pray that everything is done for the best interests of the baby.
P.S. Someone let Hilarie know when the meeting time is please. She was wanting to know so she could pray at the right time, and we all know that she has a direct line to God, as evidenced by Adalyn's (or Bella's?) miraculous rear-end cure!
This is probably the last you will hear until the meeting is all over, so hopefully we will have some more information when we get back, one way or the other.
P.S. Someone let Hilarie know when the meeting time is please. She was wanting to know so she could pray at the right time, and we all know that she has a direct line to God, as evidenced by Adalyn's (or Bella's?) miraculous rear-end cure!
This is probably the last you will hear until the meeting is all over, so hopefully we will have some more information when we get back, one way or the other.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
Well I wasn't planning on making this post because I really wanted to wait until we had more definite information one way or the other before saying anything. However, since this blog is titled "Adoption Adventures" I figure that this is one of our adventures no matter how it turns out. So, yes Mom, even though I told you to keep it to yourself, since I decided to post it here you have my permission to spread the word to other family if you want to. Or you can just direct them to this blog.
I am very excited because Nate and I got an email today about a possible birth mother. This was definitely out of the blue because I figured we had months to wait before we would even be considered at all. This isn't a normal situation and there certainly isn't anything definite, which is why I was cautious about sharing it. The birth mother is 2 months pregnant, and she and the birth father have showed some interest in us. An agency in St. Louis contacted our agency and asked if they had anyone who fit the profile the birth parents were looking for. They wanted a younger couple who didn't have any children...which we definitely fit! However, agencies really don't suggest looking seriously at adoptive parent profiles until the 5th-7th month so this is obviously way early, and a lot can happen in 7 months. Also, because they are working on this so early, they are talking with more than one couple, which means even if they do stick with their decision to make an adoption plan for their child, we may not be the couple they pick. I have been very impressed with everything I have heard about these birth parents though, and they seem to be really responsible and want to do what is best for their baby rather than what is best for them. We will be going up some time next week to meet them, so hopefully that will go well, we will all feel comfortable together and we can learn more about each other and about their desires for their coming baby.
I'm trying not to get my hopes up, because I know that the majority of birth parents ultimately decide to parent their child, but the timing of this just seems to perfect. She isn't due until March which means my programs would both be out of the way, and out of the 8 weeks of my "maternity leave," 3 of those wouldn't even involve music instruction in my classroom because of spring break and 2 weeks of testing. That would leave only a few weeks left in May before summer came, and we think Nate would be able to take off or work from home then, so that our baby wouldn't have to be in someone else's care until he or she was 6 months old. I would feel a lot more comfortable about leaving my child with someone else at 6 months rather than 2 months. We are praying we are able to find child care with someone we know, but first we need a baby to get child care for! So this whole thing is either God showing us how he works in every situation, or Satan trying to get my hopes up and then dash them. No matter what happens though, it was a huge comfort to know there was someone who was actually considering us to be the parents of their baby. One of the biggest things I have been struggling with is feelings of inadequacy, that maybe no birth parents will ever want to choose us. So I am definitely thankful for this in that regard.
Please pray that God's will is done, and if we aren't meant to have this baby that my heart won't be too badly broken. And please pray for this baby, that all the decisions that are made are all in thinking about the baby's best interests, rather than my best interests or the birth parents' best interests.
I am very excited because Nate and I got an email today about a possible birth mother. This was definitely out of the blue because I figured we had months to wait before we would even be considered at all. This isn't a normal situation and there certainly isn't anything definite, which is why I was cautious about sharing it. The birth mother is 2 months pregnant, and she and the birth father have showed some interest in us. An agency in St. Louis contacted our agency and asked if they had anyone who fit the profile the birth parents were looking for. They wanted a younger couple who didn't have any children...which we definitely fit! However, agencies really don't suggest looking seriously at adoptive parent profiles until the 5th-7th month so this is obviously way early, and a lot can happen in 7 months. Also, because they are working on this so early, they are talking with more than one couple, which means even if they do stick with their decision to make an adoption plan for their child, we may not be the couple they pick. I have been very impressed with everything I have heard about these birth parents though, and they seem to be really responsible and want to do what is best for their baby rather than what is best for them. We will be going up some time next week to meet them, so hopefully that will go well, we will all feel comfortable together and we can learn more about each other and about their desires for their coming baby.
I'm trying not to get my hopes up, because I know that the majority of birth parents ultimately decide to parent their child, but the timing of this just seems to perfect. She isn't due until March which means my programs would both be out of the way, and out of the 8 weeks of my "maternity leave," 3 of those wouldn't even involve music instruction in my classroom because of spring break and 2 weeks of testing. That would leave only a few weeks left in May before summer came, and we think Nate would be able to take off or work from home then, so that our baby wouldn't have to be in someone else's care until he or she was 6 months old. I would feel a lot more comfortable about leaving my child with someone else at 6 months rather than 2 months. We are praying we are able to find child care with someone we know, but first we need a baby to get child care for! So this whole thing is either God showing us how he works in every situation, or Satan trying to get my hopes up and then dash them. No matter what happens though, it was a huge comfort to know there was someone who was actually considering us to be the parents of their baby. One of the biggest things I have been struggling with is feelings of inadequacy, that maybe no birth parents will ever want to choose us. So I am definitely thankful for this in that regard.
Please pray that God's will is done, and if we aren't meant to have this baby that my heart won't be too badly broken. And please pray for this baby, that all the decisions that are made are all in thinking about the baby's best interests, rather than my best interests or the birth parents' best interests.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
First Days of School
Well I had my first two days of school with kids this past week. Even though some people think going to school for two days is pointless, I really enjoy it. I always forget how much the kids and the schedule wears me out, and I always start losing my voice, so having a weekend so soon after school starts gives me time to recuperate.
I am really enjoying my classes so far, and I love going to school knowing exactly what classes I will be teaching...as opposed to my last job where I had new subjects or grades almost every year. The only problems I have had so far were kindergartners who had to go to the bathroom constantly, and didn't really know how to act in school. I can't expect too much from them the first 2 days though.
School starting is kinda stressing me out as far as baby stuff goes though. September will have been 9 months since we officially decided to start this process, so that's kinda depressing, because if I had been able to get pregnant I would have had a baby by then. Also, school starting causes a whole other set of problems with this adoption stuff. If we knew exactly when our baby was coming and had had 9 months to prepare, then I could have rearranged my programs to fit around my maternity leave. As it is, we don't know how much time we have before our baby comes, and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do if we get the call right in the middle of preparing for a program. And our auditorium is so booked that I couldn't even reschedule them. I know my principal would understand, but it wouldn't be fair to my students. On top of that, since we have no idea when its going to be, we can't make any childcare arrangements. I really don't want to leave my child with strangers, but I do want to make sure we have somewhere to take him or her. So many places require waiting for months on a waiting list though, so I'm not sure what to do.
I know that God has a plan and his timing is perfect, but I just want to know what I need to be doing to prepare. Please pray I figure out what God wants me to do.
I am really enjoying my classes so far, and I love going to school knowing exactly what classes I will be teaching...as opposed to my last job where I had new subjects or grades almost every year. The only problems I have had so far were kindergartners who had to go to the bathroom constantly, and didn't really know how to act in school. I can't expect too much from them the first 2 days though.
School starting is kinda stressing me out as far as baby stuff goes though. September will have been 9 months since we officially decided to start this process, so that's kinda depressing, because if I had been able to get pregnant I would have had a baby by then. Also, school starting causes a whole other set of problems with this adoption stuff. If we knew exactly when our baby was coming and had had 9 months to prepare, then I could have rearranged my programs to fit around my maternity leave. As it is, we don't know how much time we have before our baby comes, and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do if we get the call right in the middle of preparing for a program. And our auditorium is so booked that I couldn't even reschedule them. I know my principal would understand, but it wouldn't be fair to my students. On top of that, since we have no idea when its going to be, we can't make any childcare arrangements. I really don't want to leave my child with strangers, but I do want to make sure we have somewhere to take him or her. So many places require waiting for months on a waiting list though, so I'm not sure what to do.
I know that God has a plan and his timing is perfect, but I just want to know what I need to be doing to prepare. Please pray I figure out what God wants me to do.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Homestudy done!
Well our homestudy is basically done! We had our last interview today, and our case worker said she should have it done by the end of the week and will send it to our agency. The interview was actually done pretty quickly and we didn't have to answer any really uncomfortable questions. I'm very thankful to have this done. We're not completely through with it yet, because once our agency receives it, they have to approve our homestudy before we can be placed in the pool of adoptive parents waiting to be chosen by birthparents. Not sure how long it will take to find out if our agency approves our homestudy or not, so pray that goes quickly.
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