Where we are now...

Step 1: After being told by fertility doctors there was nothing else they could do, and after spending some time grieving, we knew we still wanted to have children so we decided to start the process of adopting a child. We met with two families who have both adopted to get some insight into how it works, the time frame, and costs, as well as what is involved in an "open adoption." I must admit, the open adoption part is probably what scared me the most about the whole thing, mainly because I knew so little about it, but since all domestic adoptions are now open to some extent, and because adopting from other countries is so much more expensive, I decided to find out more about open adoptions. After talking with these families who have gone through open adoptions, I felt a lot more comfortable with the whole thing. I always pictured open adoptions as the birth parents having constant contact with their child, showing up at the adoptive parents' house, and being so involved that the child is confused about who their parents are. I was also concerned that the child would have their birth parents so involved that they would decide sometime it might be better to just go and live with them, no matter what I had done for them over the years. However seeing the experiences these families had, my fears seemed to be unfounded. Open adoption encompasses any communication between the birth parents and adoptive parents at all, not just face to face contact. I can definitely see how contact with the birth parents after the adoption could be beneficial both for the birth parents and the child. Pictures and letters to the birth parents can reassure the parents that they made a good decision, and their child is in good hands. Letters from the birth parents to the adopted child can help answer some of the questions adopted children have, and keep them from trying to search for their birth parents later on, because they already have their questions answered, and possibly even know where their birth parents are located. As far as visits go, that is something Nate and I get to decide with the birth parents and we only agree on something we are all comfortable with. After the birth parents sign their rights over, I am officially and legally the child's parent, and I don't have to allow anything that is not in the best interests of the child. This made me feel a lot more comfortable than the idea I had that the birth parents would just show up at my house whenever they felt like it. This made me more comfortable with the idea of open adoption, and ready to begin pursuing it.
Step 2: We contacted a few different agencies, but so far we have only returned one initial application because each one requires a $100 non-refundable application fee. I understand the importance behind the fee, but it makes it difficult to pursue several different agencies because of the additional costs involved. We decided to pursue a Christian agency that a few other couples from our church had gone through. We are now waiting to hear back from them that our application has been approved, and what our next step is. Please keep us in your prayers that everything goes smoothly.