Ups and downs...or just downs

Sometimes I think that God doesn't want me to have any children. Today is one of those days. It just feels like every time something starts going well, something comes along to mess it up. Yesterday I was working on our tax return and I was getting really excited and starting to feel like this adoption thing was actually going to work because we were going to be getting $4000 back from the government. Then just as I was getting ready to submit our return today, Nate came in with the mail with a "corrected" 1098 T from Harding informing us that there was an "error in the calculated amount for scholarships and grants." This "error" meant that even though we had paid taxes on thousands of dollars we received in tuition, we weren't able to get any of that money back under any of the education credits, because Harding counted it all as "scholarships and grants" even though all the money was used toward tuition so technically it shouldn't have been taxed at all. I would like someone to explain that for me. I don't think it's fair that I should have to pay taxes on money that we never saw and was used for tuition, and then not let us get any of our tax money back. This really infuriates me because I called Harding a few days ago because I had noticed that the 1098 T was different than last year, and I was informed by the PERSON IN CHARGE OF THEM that it was correct. Apparently they are just so incompetent that even people who have done things for years don't know how to do them. This was a huge mistake on their part because I think every single 1098 T had to be corrected. I want to know what they would have done if I had already submitted my return...or if I hadn't bothered to call them and check, because I'm betting that I was the one who brought this problem to their attention. Anyway, enough of my rant.

Now instead of getting $4,000 back that we can put towards our adoption, we are only getting $1,000. I know that if God wants us to adopt he will provide a means to do it, but how am I supposed to know if this is what he wants us to do? Right now it's not looking good. We still need $8,000 more dollars to have enough to cover all the listed adoption expenses by the agency, which still doesn't cover most of the travel or expenses to stay in Kansas City, or any extra medical expenses the birth mother has. Even with our $1,000 we still need $7,000. That number is looking very impossible right now, and I feel very helpless. Sorry for the sad post. Please pray that God shows me what He wants for us, and provides what we need to accomplish His will.