Christmas!

We celebrated Carter's first Christmas in West Virginia with Nate's family. Even though Carter is still really young, it was wonderful getting to watch him get to spend time with his grandparents, aunts, and uncle, and getting to see him experience all the joys of Christmas! We had to open our presents on Christmas eve because Christmas Day was on a Sunday, and we were going to church and then leaving right after that to drive 2 hours to visit Nate's grandparents and more family there in Ohio. Carter was pretty good at opening presents, even though he was more interested in eating the wrapping paper than the actual present though! He got some good presents that I'm excited to see him use now and in the coming months! Christmas morning we opened stockings, and then got ready for church. Carter wore a new Christmas outfit that his grandma had gotten him, and he was ADORABLE in it! Then at church Nate's dad led singing, and of course Carter decided to poop during a prayer (complete with many loud grunts), so I had to take the walk of shame to go change him after it was over! Then we drove to visit Nate's grandparents, and had a late lunch up there with a bunch of family we only see whenever we are up for Christmas. We got some good pictures with Carter and his great-grandparents which was good.

We were supposed to see Nate's other grandma on Monday, but she had gone to the hospital on Christmas day for a bacterial infection which changed those plans. Everyone went to see her in the hospital after we got back from Ohio, but obviously Nate, Carter and I didn't go because we didn't want to expose Carter to hospital germs. We were worried she wasn't going to get to see Carter before we had to leave, but luckily she got out of the hospital on Tuesday, and she was able to come visit for a few hours Wednesday morning before we left. We only drove part of the way that day, so we were able to leave at 2:30PM and still get to the hotel by 10PM.

We were worried we weren't going to be able to leave on Wednesday though because Carter had been really fussy Tuesday evening, and ended up running a fever. I was kinda freaking out because it was his first fever, and we weren't at home. My baby 411 book had said babies under 6 months with a fever needed to see a doctor the next day. I called the doctor on call though, and they said we could just keep doing Tylenol every 4-5 hours until we got home. However, Carter did NOT sleep well that night, and was fussy the next morning so we decided to go to the doctor. That involved calling our insurance to find a doctor "in-network" and then getting in to see them. We went to a minor emergency place and were able to get right in because there was only one person ahead of us. I'm glad we ended up going to the doctor because it turned out that Carter had an ear infection in one ear and fluid in the other ear. Then we had to find a pharmacy to fill his prescription and wait for it to get filled. We finally got all that done by noon and made it home to eat lunch and spend some time with grandma before leaving. Thankfully we got everything taken care of and Carter was much happier once he got an antibiotic in him.

We had a good time and were excited for Carter and his first Christmas! Here are some pictures of the cute boy!

Smiles!

Carter has finally decided to start smiling for pictures again! I went through a month of "deer in the headlights" pictures. Carter would be happy and smiling until the camera came out, and then...nothing. I think he likes it that I'm sitting him up for pictures, because he gets really excited about it. I'm just excited to have my smiling boy back!

Carter can sit up by himself! (if I get him positioned!)

Be sure to read the 5 month update on the post under this one!

5 months!

So I've been terrible about posting lately, but with a job and a baby there just doesn't seem to be much time for anything else. I haven't even done his 4 month post, but I will try to get on that later. I can't believe my little boy is already 5 months old! He is getting so big and doing so much now. He is now 17 lbs 11 oz and 26.5" long. 95th percentile for both. He's going to be a big boy.

He is sleeping from 7:30 at night to around 6:45 every morning. Ever since the time change he hasn't been sleeping till 7 anymore. He wakes up occasionally in the night but if i put his pacifier in his mouth he falls straight back to sleep. He will go to sleep great: I usually read a book or 2, sing a few songs and rock him and then lay him down in his crib with his paci and his snuggle puppy and he goes straight to sleep. He has rolled over from his back to his front a few times now. He had done it by accident in his crib a month or 2 ago but it scared him and he started crying when it happened. He still doesn't roll from his front to back much, I think he decided that he's mastered that and it's time to move on to something else. He has started grabbing at things lately, and our plates of food are no longer safe if Carter is around! Everything he grabs goes straight to his mouth. He has also started grabbing his feet but hasn't gotten those to his mouth yet. Carter has been working on sitting up and has now been able to sit up for a few seconds unassisted as long as we get him "in position." he is a pretty easy going baby and will go happily to just about anyone. He has been developing a little attitude though and if he's doing something he doesn't like he will give a loud angry squeal. Yeah...kinda embarrassing in the middle of church!

We have been doing cereal since he turned 4 months but he's not a huge fan of it. After his 4 month appointment on Nov 22 we have started other foods. He has now had sweet potatoes, green beans, and apples. He seemed to like the apples the least but he may have just been getting full from the green beans I gave him first. I also let him try mashed potatoes at thanksgiving and some guacamole when we were out to eat one time. He is a good eater and always gets excited about his food. No matter how much I give him it never seems to be enough! He is getting to be such a big boy and can now hold his bottle by himself and even feed himself! I still like holding my little baby to feed him though.

We have just started taking him to class at church, and I am still going with him because there are so many babies in the class now that there never seem to be enough teachers! Carter has been doing great and will sit quietly and watch and listen to the teacher.

We love our little boy so much and can't believe how lucky we are to have him!

Finalization and an update!!

We finally have a finalization date! If you recall from my previous posts, birth parent rights are terminated after 10 days in Arkansas, but our adoption still has to be finalized in front of a judge. We have been waiting for our agency's attorney to finish all of the paperwork for Carter's adoption, get it sent to the judge, and schedule a time for the lawyer and us to meet with the judge for our adoption. Well...we finally have our date set for November 2nd, at 9AM! We are very excited! Though we are obviously Carter's parents, I think technically until finalization we are only considered legally to be his guardians, and I think that our agency may still have some legal tie to him until finalization. It was interesting at the hospital, because Carter was signed over to our agency worker, and then she gave him to us. So...technically I think she may legally still be his "guardian" as well until all this finalization is complete. Anyway, I don't even PRETEND to understand all the legal stuff involved with adoption, I just know that we have to meet with the judge, so that's what we're gonna do! After finalization, (according to our agency) we have to wait 6 months before we are able to receive a new birth certificate with our names listed as Carter's parents. That kinda stinks because that is right around tax time, which means we may not get it before our taxes need to be submitted, which means we will have to try to get Carter a temporary ID number. Not only is it a hassle, but I'm not even 100% sure we will be able to do that. But...we shall see.

We are definitely excited about this day and are looking forward to it. If we decided to celebrate any sort of "Adoption Day" or "Family Day" this would be the day we celebrate. We can't celebrate "Gotcha Day" because that doesn't make much sense considering we "got him" on the day he was born! Also there is some controversy in the adoption community about the use of the term "Gotcha Day". So if we decide to celebrate anything special besides Carter's birthday, it will be one of the ideas I mentioned earlier, and we will celebrate it on November 2nd! Please pray everything goes smoothly!

PS Make sure you look at the post below this one to see Carter roll over!

Carter Rolled Over!

Well last Tuesday our darling little boy decided to roll over for the first time! Unfortunately, it was at his babysitter's house, but luckily, she was able to get him to do it a few times, and she got a video of it. Without further ado, here is our smart little boy rolling over!



Of course, now that he's done it, he doesn't seem to be too interested in doing it anymore. I have only been able to get him to do it twice for me, and he has started this thing where instead of lifting his head off the ground like he normally does, he is using his legs to lift his bottom off the ground. Any ideas what he's trying to do there? Anyway, his doing that makes it difficult for him to roll over. But he's a cutie and we are sssooooo proud of him, so I had to share.

3 months!

My baby is 3 months old now! Where has the time gone??? Carter is getting to be a big boy! He is now 14.5 pounds and 26 inches long. We have done a lot this month! The biggest event being my return to work this past week! Luckily we have a church friend watching him, so we don't have to worry about him being around a bunch of different people or sick kids. It's been difficult for Nate and I getting into a new routine, but Carter has done amazing. He hasn't acted like the change has effected him at all, and he has even been taking better naps for his babysitter than he does for me.

Carter has been an amazing sleeper and now sleeps from 7:30 PM to 6:30 AM. Since I've been back to work though, I have been trying to wake him up a little earlier so I can feed him before I have to leave. He's had a few times (especially this past week) where he woke up before it was time to get up, but he wasn't hungry and will fall asleep after I put his paci in his mouth. We had to start making 8oz bottles for Carter this past week! We had already switched to 8oz bottles, but we were only filling them 6oz full. After Carter started consistently eating 6oz at a time though, and was still acting hungry afterward, we decided to move him up. It's a little sad, my boy is getting so big!

He is still working on laughing, and has the cutest little "laugh". He has also been squealing some, and making other noises and blowing bubbles as well!

Carter has gotten really good at holding his head up, and can now sit in his bumbo for short lengths of time unassisted. He still only tolerates tummy time, though he is really good at lifting his head and chest up off the ground. This month he discovered his hands! He will clasp his hands together, and especially loves sticking them in his mouth! He has figured out how to suck on his thumb, though he hasn't figured out how to curve his fingers while doing so, which means he ends up gagging himself with a stray finger or poking himself in the eye! Poor kid! He also likes to hold on to me or whoever is feeding him. He will grab my fingers, my shirt, or my arm while he is eating. So sweet!

(Warning this paragraph is about poop!)
We have had some issues this month with Carter and digestive issues. He has some reflux, though the doctor doesn't want to treat it with medicine because he is still gaining weight and it doesn't seem to be effecting his sleeping (and medicine's aren't that great for babies!) So, I tried switching to a different formula that would help with that. Unfortunately, this new formula is thicker, and gave Carter constipation. The doctor suggested Karo syrup, which worked, but only as long as Carter was on it. As soon as we stopped, he was constipated again. After going through an ENTIRE BOTTLE of karo, I didn't feel comfortable giving it to my baby anymore. Then, the doctor suggested using 2 oz of pear juice. I have been doing this for a while now, and I dilute it with 2 oz of water. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to help much at all. Carter is still pooping, and will occasionally have semi-normal poops, but the majority of them are way more solid than they should be! I have just started on my own trying to substitute one scoop of regular similac formula for one scoop of his regular formula. This helped his constipation very quickly, but has caused his tummy to hurt him because he isn't used to the formula. I would like him to be able to get used to the similac so he won't be constipated, but not sure if that's going to happen or not. We shall see.

We traveled to Texas and West Virginia in September to visit all the grandparents, and let some of Carter's great-grandparents meet him for the first time. Carter did a great job on both trips. He did well in his carseat, let me feed him in it, slept a lot in it, and still kept a regular sleep schedule even though he was sleeping in a pack-n-play in strange places. It was an exhausting few weeks, but I'm glad that we got to see family and they got to see Carter!

2 Months!!

Our little boy is 2 months old! I can't believe how fast it's gone, and how big he's already gotten. Looking back on his pictures from the hospital he already looks a lot different. He has started losing some of his hair in a "male pattern baldness" formation, but there is also some baby fine hair coming in as well. It's just taking forever! His eyes are starting to get lighter and are looking like more of a light blue/grey instead of the dark blue that they were. Not sure how much longer we have to wait before we find out his permanent eye color. He has been smiling all the time and seems to be practicing laughing. We haven't heard a "true" laugh yet, but I think he's getting pretty close. He has been a lot more vocal though, and not just when he's upset. He is really a pretty happy baby, and if he's crying, I can be fairly certain that he is either hungry or tired. If he just ate then I will go rock him or sing to him and that usually does the trick. His favorite song to calm down to is "God Loves Carter," which you have probably heard me sing if you've been around us when he was getting fussy. He is getting stronger and still moves himself around in his cradle and on the play mat. He can hold his head pretty steady while being held in a sitting position, and he is starting to push himself up a little to raise his head when he is on his tummy.

He is going to bed around 8PM and sleeping until 5 or 6AM every night. He has still been sleeping in his cradle up until this point, but we are planning on moving him to his crib in his room this week. I'm a little worried because he does have some times that he wakes up in the night, but I will just put his pacifier back in his mouth and hold it there a few minutes and he falls back asleep. Now I won't be able to stay in bed and reach through the cradle bars to do this, I will have to get up and go into his room. Hopefully this won't happen often!

We had to switch him to the 8oz bottles a few weeks ago because he was completely finishing his 4 ounce bottles, and either needing to eat more right then, or getting hungry again 45 minutes later. We are only filling them to 6oz right now, but he is consistently eating 4.5-6oz at every meal, and we have had quite a few times where he ate all 6 ounces. I can't believe what a big boy he is!

Legal documents

On Thursday we received the legal documents from Bethany's lawyer for us to look over and sign. Somehow the lawyer got our house number wrong, but luckily our postal worker figured it out. We also had some questions about the papers because they made it sound like Carter had to remain in Arkansas until finalization. We contacted our agency, and luckily that isn't the case. I think our "residence" just has to be in Arkansas, but Carter is allowed to travel out of state. We are glad about that because we have family still waiting to see him!

After going through the documents, we had to get them notarized and then mail them back to the lawyer who will then complete everything, and send it to a judge in White County. The judge will put us on his "docket" (hopefully within the next few months) and we will go before the judge and answer a few questions to finalize our adoption. Six months after finalization we will be able to receive a new birth certificate with our names listed as Carter's parents. Unfortunately this timeline puts us very close to tax time so we will probably have to get a temporary identification number for him since we can't apply for a SSN until we have his birth certificate.

I'm a little confused about the "six months after finalization" rule, because my understanding had always been it was six months after placement (when we took Carter home). I was talking to a worker at Searcy Children's Homes and she was surprised it was six months after finalization as well. Not sure how that works, but our agency has been around many years and done tons of adoptions so I assume they know what they are talking about! Does anyone else familiar with the adoption process have any insight on this? It's not a huge deal except we have to wait until the period is up before getting Carter's new birth certificate. Oh well, by this point we've definitely gotten used to jumping through hoops!

We are loving spending time with our little man, and he is getting cuter by the day! He has started smiling at us daily, and seems to be practicing laughing (not quite a laugh yet but sounds like he's trying!). We can't imagine life without him!

My first smile! (caught on camera anyway!)

Carter has been up a lot more during the day, and he seems to be in pretty good spirits every morning. Here is a smile his grandma caught on camera. Isn't he adorable???

1 Month!

I can't believe our sweet boy is already 1 month old! It has gone so fast! He has definitely gotten bigger, he weighs 10 lbs 5 oz, and is 22 in long. He has been eating every 2-3 hrs during the day, and 4-8 hrs at night. Yes we have had two 8 hour nights! Unfortunately that 8 hrs started around 8pm so we didn't get to sleep as long as Carter did! He usually makes it about 6-7 hrs though which is really nice!

He has started making really good eye contact, and he's gotten better about holding his head up on his own. He isn't a huge fan of tummy time but he will tolerate it for short stretches, and he can lift his head up briefly and move it from one side to the other while on his tummy. He likes laying on his back and looking around, but he MUCH prefers being held while he's awake...which makes it difficult for me to get alot done! Hopefully I can wean him of that once he starts staying awake more.

He likes taking baths, and has finally started enjoying being changed more (this used to be the WORST thing in the world!) He has smiled occasionally, and Nate said he even heard him laugh once. He likes to stare at our faces, and will follow things with his eyes. He makes little "eh" noises alot whenever he's awake.

He still likes being swaddled and sitting in his vibrating chair. Those can usually calm him down, even though he rarely gets upset unless he needs something. He has started using his pacifier more as well. He is still a big mover, and will move himself around in his cradle or on his blanket while on his back. He is already in size 1 diapers, and wearing 0-3 month clothes, though we have some of those that are starting to get a little small on him.

I've enjoyed getting to stay home with him, though it is difficult to get much done. I have to make good use of the times he's asleep. Luckily I've usually been getting a good night's sleep so I don't have to nap during this time!

We had Nate's parents come visit right after Carter was born and my Mother-in-law stayed to help out the next week. Nate's brother Eric and his wife came down at the end of July and stopped by to see Carter, and then my mom and sister came down at the end of July with my nephew Jaxon. Now Nate's parents are here again along with his sister Rachel to watch Carter while I'm gone all this week to in-service at school. Even though I'm taking 7 weeks off at the beginning of the school year, I still have to get my in-service hours. Thankfully they were able to watch him so we didn't have to figure out something else!

We have been enjoying being a family of 3 and cant wait to see what the next month has in store! Here are a few pictures!

Jaxon giving Carter kisses!

Stationery card

Check out the birth announcement I made for Carter! Thanks to Taylor and Jen Howard for taking the cute pics of him!

Hopscotch Time Blue Birth Announcement

Create beautiful birth announcements with Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

I'M A MOM!!!

So this is a LONG overdue post, but I've obviously been a little busy. As of July 4th, Nate and I are parents! I got to be in the delivery room...it was a wonderful experience. I will try to post about our hospital experience later, but I've definitely been a little preoccupied! We got to come home on the 5th, which was nice, and we have been enjoying being a family of 3.

So far he has been eating around every 2 hrs during the day and every 3-4 hrs at night. You would think this would give us lots of sleep, but apparently newborn babies make lots of noises when they sleep, and all these little noises keep waking the new, overprotective parents up! We've kinda worked out a system where I go to bed really early and get a few hours of sleep while Nate is still awake with Carter, and then he goes to bed for the rest of the night while I do one more feeding and then hopefully get Carter asleep and in his cradle so I can get a few more hours before morning. I actually got 8 hours of sleep last night, it was just divided up.

Carter seems really strong to me. He already moves his head around alot, and is very good at moving his arms and legs (reflexively I think). He can also roll over onto his side. He also moved himself to the side of his cradle last night. I put him in the middle of his crib, and when I woke up he had moved his head over to the edge of his crib close to me. It was really cute. He also isn't a huge fan of his pacifier, and whenever he doesn't want it, he will open his mouth and shake his head no. I think he's just trying to get it out of his mouth, but I'm going to pretend that he's telling me he "no, I don't want that!" He also LOVES riding in the car, it always makes him fall asleep. All this and he's only 4 days old!

I will do my best to post more later, though it has definitely gotten more difficult to find the time! Luckily Nate's parents are here right now so they are watching our little guy. I'll leave you with some pictures of our wonderful blessing! Our "legal risk period" is officially over the end of the day on Monday (since the 5th day is on the weekend), so he will be legally ours on Tuesday. I'm still very happy with how things are going with our birthmom though, so I don't foresee any surprises. I already can't imagine life without our little guy!

The Hospital Process

I just had a friend ask me a question today that made me realize others may not know how the process for the hospital and birth work in an adoption situation. In an effort to educate those around me (whether they want to be educated or not!) I am going to share it with you. This friend asked me if we had our plan for the birth at the hospital yet. I asked if she meant what the birthmom wants to do, and she said no, what we were doing. I was still confused so I had to get her to explain herself some more. I finally realized that she wanted to know what our roles were going to be when Carter was coming.

In an adoption situation, until 5-10 days after the baby is born, the birthmother is still legally the parent of that child (obviously). Because of that, the birth of the child is still led by the birthmother, and she gets to choose how she experiences it, and with whom she experiences it. At an agency (another reason I like agencies!), the birthmother makes a hospital "plan" to help everyone know what their role will be in the birth of the child, and what things the birthmother would like to happen. Some birthmothers choose to have the adoptive parents there, some want the adoptive parents in the delivery room, some want them in the waiting room, some don't want them there at all. Hospitals also vary in what they will allow as far as who has access to the child without the birthmother present, and who makes decisions about the child. So, even though a birthmother may decide one thing, this can also be changed by what the hospital will or won't allow. Even with all that said, a birth is a very physically and emotionally taxing experience, and the best laid plans may end up getting changed depending on how the birthmother is feeling. The best thing everyone involved can do is be flexible and follow the lead of the birthmother.

One of the most important things I have had to remember is that the birth of this child represents the last moments our birthmother will spend as the sole parent and caretaker of this child. The hospital is HER time to get to spend with her child, before he legally becomes ours. Because of that, if we need to give her the entire time to spend with her child, that's the least we can do when she is giving him to us for the rest of his life.

Now you can understand why I was confused when my friend asked what "OUR" plans were for the hospital. They aren't our plans but our birthmother's plans, and we are just following the plan she has set.

Now I know you're dying to know what plans our birthmother has made, so here they are. We definitely have a wonderful birthmother because everything she does shows how much she wants us involved in the process, and how she sees us as the parents of the child she is carrying. She wants me to be in the delivery room with her, and Nate will be in the waiting room. After Carter is born, she wants to get to spend some time alone with him to say goodbye, but after that she wants us there taking care of him because we are his parents. This plan can always change depending on how she's feeling, but as of right now that is her plan.

We have less than 2 weeks until we become parents! Please pray this process goes smoothly for everyone involved, and please pray for strength and comfort for our birthmother during the difficult time that lies ahead.

Middle Name and Due Date

Our birthmom has picked a middle name, so our son is going to be named Carter Blaine McCoy! We love the middle name, and are very excited to finally know his whole name. At the doctor's appointment today, the doctor said that everything looked so good that he was going to induce early if Carter didn't come before then, so unless Carter comes early, he will be arriving on July 6th! We are so excited and can't believe how soon that is! Please continue to pray that everything goes as planned!

One more thing...

Please make sure you read the post below this one, which is also new. I don't usually make 2 posts so close together, but I figured this should be shared as well. I have had a few people ask me about this, and I figured even though it is a difficult situation and a little personal, it is better to share it on here so everyone has correct information.

Arkansas Law for Adoptions by Mandy:
According to Arkansas law, no papers relinquishing parental rights can be signed until after the baby is born. Then once papers are signed, the birth mother will have up to 10 days to change her mind about relinquishing her child. However, a new law was created that allows the birth mother to state that she would prefer to only have 5 days instead of the allotted 10 to change her mind. Any time during those 5 or 10 days the birth mother may change her mind and take her child back. After that time, the adoptive parents are legal guardians of the child, and the birth mother has no rights toward him or her. 6 months later the adoption is "finalized" and the child is officially "adopted" by the adoptive parents (rather than them just being guardians-my understanding anyway). After the 5 or 10 days, the only things that can "disrupt" an adoption are if the birth mother was coerced into signing the papers (she must be able to prove it, and going through a reputable agency makes this MUCH less likely), or if the birthfather hasn't been in the picture but decides to show up and claim parental rights. However, if the birthfather hasn't been around at all, a claim can be made that he abandoned the child and so forfeited his rights at that time. Thankfully we are going through an agency because I don't understand how all that works.

That is the law in a nutshell. Let me know if any of you have any additional or corrected information to add, and I will gladly update. Basically I want you to know that as excited as we are, we still have that little bit of doubt lingering in our minds, that she could still change her mind. Feel free to ask questions if you have any, and definitely still keep our family in your prayers as we wait for Carter!

C is for Carter

4 weeks! We are very excited and can't wait to be a family of 3. There isn't a whole lot of news to share about Carter and our birthmother. They are both doing well, Carter is getting bigger and everything seems to be fine. I have been going to her doctor appointments which has been a wonderful experience, but everything seems to be pretty routine. Everyone keeps asking me if there is any news, but if they've heard that we're having a boy due July 10th and naming him Carter, I'm really not sure what else to share. Anyone have any suggestions of things they/you would like to hear about?

Here is something else I made for Carter. I saw something similar at Hay's for $25, and you KNOW I'm not about to pay that much for something my child will only wear a few times, so I decided to make one. I spent maybe $7, which is much more reasonable.

The only problem is...I'm not sure exactly how big it is! I bought the smaller pattern which has "newborn," "small," and "medium" on it, but the only measurements it gives for comparison are the baby's head size. So...I was expecting this to be somewhere in the 0-3 month range since I made a small...but I think it is more in the 6 month range. Which means I may have messed myself up, because by the time it fits him it may be too cold for him to wear it! Oh well...at least I didn't pay $25!!

P.S. I tried and tried to get this picture straightened correctly, but I failed. So you will just have to view it sideways! Sorry!

Stuff for Carter!

I've been busy making stuff for Carter! I may have gone a little overboard, but I want my boy to have cute stuff, and it is definitely hard to find in stores for reasonable prices!

I appliqued "ties" onto onesies so I can dress him up a little!

I saw an elephant onesie similar to this one at Hay's for $25! I wasn't about to pay that much so I decided to make my own!

A polka-dot boppy cover.

Burp cloths to match everything else I made!

IT'S A BOY!!!

We found out today that we are "having" a boy! We are sssooooo excited! We are going to name him Carter, and we decided to let our birth mother pick his middle name, so he will have a piece of both of us in his name. She is always going to be a part of our lives and our son's life, and I want our son to know that we respected and appreciated his birth mother enough to let her take a part in naming him.

I got to go to her ultrasound which was a wonderful experience, but took forever. The appointment was at 2:15, and we had to wait in the waiting room for about 20 minutes, only to find out that we needed to go to a different office (down the hall) to get the ultrasound. So we had to go down there and wait a while longer. Then the ultrasound itself took about 30 minutes, and then we went back to the first waiting room to wait to see the doctor. Unfortunately, her doctor had been called out for a delivery, and another doctor in the practice had a family emergency, so there was one doctor seeing all the patients for 3 doctors! Needless to say, we were there a while. We didn't even see the doctor until after 4, and we had been there since 2:15. But it was alright, it was definitely worth it! And I got to spend some more time with our birth mother which was a blessing.

After the appointment, I went straight to Michael's and bought some wooden letters to spell out "CARTER," blue paint to paint them, and brown ribbon with blue polka dots on it to hang them on the wall. That's my next project! Please pray everything continues to go as smoothly as it has been!

Birthmother meeting!

We got to meet our birth mother for the first time tonight! We went to Dixie Cafe with her and the worker at Bethany who works with birth mothers. It was a wonderful meeting, and she is definitely a blessing for us! We bought her a heart necklace that had a ruby in it (July birthstone), to let her know we knew this baby would always be in her heart, and that she would always be in our hearts. I also brought a present for her son (coloring books and a crayon roll-up). We ended up talking for around 2 hours, and many stories and a few tears were shed. I think the worker was trying to wrap us up! I can't wait to go to the ultrasound next week to find out what "we" are having! She wants me to be in the delivery room with her, which is amazing, but I'm feeling sad for her because I don't think there are going to be many people there for her. I know she will have one friend there and I think that's it. I need to have something special for her...ideas? She is so amazing, because everything she says shows that she really wants this to be a special and amazing time for Nate and I, even though I know it must be difficult for her. I'm not sure how much I should share about her and her family, because I want our child to have the option to decide who he or she would like to share personal information with. Do any adoptive parents have any thoughts on that matter? Lift up a prayer of thanksgiving that everything went so well, and continue to pray that the next 2 months (and years to come!) go just as smoothly!

WE'VE BEEN MATCHED!!!!

As of Monday evening, May 9th, we have been matched with a birthmother! I got “the call” while I was in the middle of yoga that evening. Of course my phone wasn’t on silent, so I just let it go to voicemail. Then when yoga was over at 8, I saw I had a voicemail from our social worker. She said she just wanted to “touch base” but was trying to call when we were both home, so if we got the message before 8:30 PM to call her back. Well neither of us were at home, and we figured she probably just wanted to update our paperwork, but we hurried home anyway. Then when I called, she told us we had been matched with a birthmother who was due July 10th! We were very excited! Apparently she wanted a childless couple (which we were), and once she saw our profile she didn’t want to look at anymore! She liked that we were musical because she had been in band, and she liked that I was a teacher because she thought I would have a lot of patience! We will meet her for the first time next week, and we were told that she wanted me to be surprised about the sex of the baby, so I get to go to a doctor’s appointment with her in 2 weeks to see an ultrasound. It is really sweet of her to want me to have this experience that I otherwise would never get to have. I can’t wait to find out the gender so I can finally get our baby room finished!

This is a definite praise to God, because we have been waiting “patiently” for a very long time. We are so thankful for her, and ask all of you to send up a prayer to God on her behalf, thanking Him for bringing her into our lives, and asking Him to be with her and comfort her during the difficult time ahead. There are still some fears in the back of my mind, because even though she sounds like she is very sure in her decision, she is still able to change her mind up to 10 days after the baby is born (if she signs the paperwork right away). However, I am trying to be positive and excited for us, and just get us ready for a new baby.

There is a lot to think about. We have to make sure we have insurance that covers a baby, a pediatrician, child care, I have to make sure my job is covered for at least a month, and I have to make lesson plans for the time I will be off. If anyone has any suggestions for child care in Searcy, either someone who is looking to take care of a baby in their home, or day cares that you would recommend and trust, then we are definitely open to that info. I’m trying not to stress about that, because I know it can be difficult getting into the “good” day cares but we need to know which ones to look at before we even try to get on any waiting lists! I’m sure we are also open to pediatrician ideas while you’re at it!

All that to say, praise God! He is good!

Why I Teach...

"Thank you Mrs. Mcoy For teching us how to play music. Also all the fun stuff that you told us that was awesome. When we could play with the music I liked the song. When we learned what tempo means I was acting like I was a spaceman. Also Thank you, for Teching us.
From: K (a 2nd grader-who interestingly enough isn't one of my most well-behaved students!)
For Mrs. Mcoy"

Please Pray!

We need your prayers about some potential opportunities we are being presented for. Please pray God's will is done.

Adoption Language

I've been meaning to write this post for a while but I kept forgetting. A few months ago I had a kindergartner come into my class and inform me that he knew what adoption was! I hadn't said anything to the class about how I was adopting, so this was a little random, but I went ahead and asked him what it was. He said, "It's when kids are locked up in cages and people buy them." Well I told him "No that isn't right, but would you like to know what it really means?" Then I proceeded to share with him how adoption is when a mommy and daddy have a baby they love very much, but they aren't able to take care of any baby right then, so they find a mommy and daddy who are able to take care of their baby and love it very much. Probably went into way too much detail for a 5 year old, but it hit a little too close to home. I'm not surprised about his idea of adoption, because for most kids, the only "adoption" they ever see is at a humane society and adopting a pet. And those animals are in cages and you pay for them. But I do think it's important for us to explain to our children what adoption really is, especially if you have people in your life who are touched by adoption. I do think pet adoptions are great by the way, as long as you make a point to keep that pet for as long as it is alive. Kids are very literal when they're young, and if they see a pet given away because of something it does, they will think the same thing could happen to a child.
Here is some "adoption friendly" language to use with your child when talking about adoption, and when talking to anyone touched by adoption.
Don't use/Do use
Children of your own = biological child

Real child = biological child

Given up for adoption = made an adoption plan

How much did it cost to buy your child=agency fees and lawyer fees must be expensive

Never say “once you adopt you will get pregnant." For those of us that this definitely isn’t a possibility for it is just hurtful, and for everyone else, it gives the impression that adoption is a second-best way to become a parent.

Hopefully this has helped educate you some about how to discuss adoption! This wasn't directed toward anyone in particular, just a general education lesson based on my experience.

Spring Break

I've been on Spring Break this week, and I've been enjoying actually having time to get things done. When I only have Saturday and a few hours Sunday to work at home, it's difficult to tackle much. I've been doing some major cleaning around the house to find stuff we want to get rid of so I can sell it in a yard sale some of the young marrieds are having. I've already found just about everything we want to get rid of, and I have them labeled with prices. Today I got Nate's oil changed, and took some clothes to the consignment shop. Then I made all of this...

Signs for the yard sale...

a drum for an African unit I'm doing at school (I will need many more of these but this is a sample so hopefully some parent volunteers can make more!) I made it out of a coffee can!

and I put together our baby crib!

P.S. Did I mention that I painted our guest room/Nate's office a blue grey on Tuesday? It looks great! Haven't taken a picture yet though. :(

Disappointment and discouragement

Well we had another birthmother overlook us. That now makes 4 that we know about, and one of our agencies doesn't always tell us when they have a birthmother. Just to recap:

19 months since we began fertility treatments
14 months since we officially decided to adopt
13 months since our first adoption meeting
8 months since we were officially approved to adopt
7 months since BM #1 turned us down
Somewhere in here were 2 more birthmothers who didn't choose us
2 months since we were officially approved with Bethany
3 weeks since we had to choose not to be presented to a BM due to health issues
2 days since the BM #4 turned us down

So...all that to say it's getting very hard not to get discouraged. Imagine how you would feel if you were picked last every time you were playing a game. It would start making you feel pretty bad about yourself wouldn't it? Now imagine not being picked at all. MULTIPLE TIMES. That's where I am. And I don't even know why we aren't being chosen. I suppose it doesn't really matter though since there isn't anything we can do about it.
Sorry for the downer post, but it was kind of a downer day.

Stuff

I had a good time tonight shopping at the Rhea Lana children's consignment sale in Conway with a friend this evening. Unfortunately, it was really crowded even though it wasn't even open to the public yet, and we ended up waiting in line around 45 minutes! Crazy! Our husbands had come along and they were shopping at "boy stores" while we were at the sale, but I think they got bored. We went to eat in Conway afterwards. I got some good stuff, some more bottles, a swaddle sleeper, cute clothes, and a bunch of Baby Einstein videos! I was really impressed at their video selection.

Just in case you haven't see it yet, here is our adoption video that I made. Please feel free to share the website with anyone you want.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNyV6IywE-M
Also, please pray about our adoption process that God's will is done.

PLEASE PRAY!

That's all I'm going to say...but we definitely need prayers lifted up about our baby situation!

Loneliness

The road to adoption is a very lonely one when there is no one to share it with. I liked this blog's take on it. Unfortunately I am not at the point where I have a child in my arms and can look back on all this like a bad dream. It's hard not to get discouraged when I see everyone who is pregnant getting to share all their experiences both good and bad with others who have been where they are, but I have no one to share my experiences with who really understands what I'm going through, and certainly not anyone who is going through the same thing I am. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm "expecting" too, but it's hard to think like that when I don't know what month I'm "due" or even what YEAR I'm "due." Please pray God sends me and Nate comfort.

Our Video

We now have 250 views on our video! Thank you all so much for your support, and please feel free to pass our video on to anyone you know!


Nate and Mandy's Adoption Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNyV6IywE-M

You Tube Video and Snow

I created a you tube video for our adoption profile. I basically used pictures from our profile book, but believe me, it wasn't as easy as it looks! You can view our video here, and please feel free to pass it on to anyone you want!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNyV6IywE-M

In other news, we got a TON of snow yesterday. Of course I was out of school, and I am now on day two of snow days, and it's looking like there might be a day 3. This is a little out of control though, because we don't have any built in days, so we will have to make up all these days at the end of the year, which stinks. Here are some pictures of the snow at our house!

I also made snow ice cream for the first time! I was very proud of myself!

We're Online!

Here is a link to our profile on Bethany's website. Feel free to check it out, and if you happen to know any pregnant women who would like to make an adoption plan for their baby, feel free to send them there as well!

Cute Shirt

I found this shirt that I really like on a website full of shirts related to adoption. So, if anyone was thinking to themselves how they really wanted to get me a present...this would be a good shirt to get. ;) I have a hard time spending $25 + shipping on myself when we're in the middle of a process that will cost $18,000+. I've included a picture of the shirt, as well as a link to the website below. So I'm really just kidding....well kind of!

Click here to see the website!

Approved!

We had our interview with Bethany today and it went really well! At the end of it we were informed that we were "approved" to be adopting through Bethany, and since we paid our $600 homestudy update fee, and our $3000 networking fee (ouch!), we can now be shown to birthmothers. We will also be added to their online profiles as soon as we send in our "Dear Birthmother" letter and pictures. As soon as we are on their website I will post a link so you can see it. After our interview (which lasted 2 hours!), we went to Joann fabrics where I bought some cute material, we went to Schlotzskys for lunch, and then Best Buy for Nate to look around. I thought we were going to have the rest of the afternoon and evening free, but as we were walking around Best Buy, my phone gave me an alert reminding me of the Searcy Children's Homes appreciation dinner tonight! So, we had to hurry home so we would have a few hours to rest before getting dressed up and going to that. I did manage to get all the stuff for our profile emailed, and I also finished our taxes...thankfully we will be getting a refund again this year! It was a good day, and I feel like we got a lot accomplished. Please pray a birthmother comes to one of our agencies soon and chooses us!

Agency info

Well we are finally moving along with Bethany. We ended up needing 2 separate visits because of a change in their "rules," but one of those was just her walking around our house to make sure it would be a "suitable" place for a baby. She came today and I didn't even have to be there, Nate just let her in and said it took around 15 minutes. I think we have to have more than one exit to our house, windows in bedrooms, a fire extinguisher, smoke detectors, a separate bedroom for each child, and no obvious problems that would be dangerous for a child. We have our interview scheduled for this Saturday at 10 so please pray that goes well, and we are able to move forward quickly afterward.

School Funny

So I had a semi eventful day at school today. Along with covering a duty I had never done before and having a kid steal another kid's necklace in my class and lie about it, I did have one funny exchange I thought I would share. During my last class of the day (kinder), I had a kindergartner named *Billy* raise his hand and tell me "My daddy is a president!" I'm assuming his dad is the president of some club or something, so I ask him what his dad is the president of. He tells me his dad is the president of the state. I say, "Your dad is the president of Arkansas? So is his name Mike Beebe (our governor)?" He said no, so I told him his dad couldn't be the president of Arkansas, and he should go home and ask his dad what he was the president of. I assumed that would be the end of it, but right at the end of class, he raised his hand again, and told me, "My dad is Barack Obama!" I say, "So your dad is the president of the United States?" and he said yeah. Well then I tell him he needs to tell his dad to give teachers a lot more money! I finally try to get him to tell me he is just joking and his dad isn't Barack Obama, but he was ready to go to his grave proclaiming that his dad is Barack Obama! What makes it even funnier is that this kid's skin color makes it even more obvious that there is no way he could be Barack Obama's son! Ah, kindergartners!

SNOW!

Well I really didn't think anything was going to come of it, but we actually got a lot (for around here!) of snow last night! Of course school is canceled, which is both good and bad because I have a program coming up, and this means I won't get to have my Monday classes for 3 weeks in a row since we are off next Monday for Martin Luther King Jr day. Oh well...modify and adjust I suppose! Here are some pics around our house!